How to find your why + a small exercise!

Posted on December 27, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You might have heard the popular sayings:

Come back to your why!

What’s your why?

Find your purpose!

I’ve been hearing it for years. But I’ve only recently made the connection. This is the way I see it: Passion is a day dream, but purpose is a S.M.A.R.T goal on your “life’s to-do list”. Passion is about doing something because you have an emotional connection to it. Purpose is direction and the reason for which something is done. Purpose is fuelled by reasoning and usually the reasoning is the answer to a why question.

It’s the answer to your why aka your why statement that gives you motivation to do what you do. Your why statement will be the reminder you need to keep moving in the direction of your purpose. For individuals your why statement is not only your purpose, it’s who you are, your cause, what you stand for or your belief. Of course many companies and organizations identify their why statement as a way to keep employees motivated in their work. So why shouldn’t individuals have a why statement for their lives?

Your individual why statement is evergreen. That means it makes sense and is applicable to any part of your life, whether that’s your career, your hobbies or your life overall. It is simple, actionable and expressed in affirmative language that resonates with you.

Employees who have identified their why statements are clear in their direction and therefore are more inspired to do the work they feel compelled to do.

Organizations who see this as a win will support employees and employees will be more engaged at work. I recently participated in an innovation program at work. The experience was both challenging and awakening.

Part of that awakening was determining my why statement. Here is an EASY exercise to find yours.

Tools: poster board, post its notes (standard size & few different colours), permanent markers, chart paper.
You don’t need any of these tools, but using actual paper products, pens and a wall helps your body and brain align and really get into this activity.

Step 1: Think about your life and brainstorm 5-10 times you felt most successful and then felt most challenged. Once you have these memories are listed (on your post it notes, piece of paper or word doc), review everything and try to notice any patterns. You may start to see some themes pop up like “team work”, “technology”, “lack of control” or “creativity” – the number of themes doesn’t but finding the themes does.

Step 2: Based on your themes, take note of your motivators. This will help you understand what your contribution to others lives will be and the value of those contributions

Step 3: Write your why statement with this format “To ____, so that _____”. The first blank is your contribution and the second blank is the impact of that contribution. This should come easily but also may be an iterative process (ie: write down your statement, then tweak it a bit, write it out again, change a little something and write it again – continue this process until you have something you feel good about).

Step 4: Share your why statement. Share it with your partner, your kids, your friends, your co-workers. Share it on twitter, on blogs, on IG and in whatsapp/teams/webex chats! It will be easy to share your why statement because it’s all you so there will be a level of pride and excitement.

And in the spirit of sharing, this is my why statement:

To create and lead an agile team, so that we build transformative solutions, achieve goals and inspire people.

Also it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share it or if you feel like the wording is a little off. Keep at it, you’ll get it to where it needs to be and be thrilled to share it with the world!

Exploring Glen Stewart Ravine

Posted on August 11, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

The last few months of the shelter in place with the people in your own household was challenging and rewarding experience. On one hand, we were with each other all the time without the help of our village and on the other hand we got to spend all this time together that I always felt we were missing out.

When some of the restrictions lifted it was nice to enjoy the warm weather which worked really well as some of the first areas to open for public use were golf courses, open space parks and trails.

We have some great friends and family who made plans / did the research to figure out where to go and what to see (Nokiidaa Trail, Moccasin Trail and Wahoosh Falls) and then finally got out of my energy rut and found Glen Stewart Ravine and knew we had to check it out.

Glen Stewart Ravine is a lush, deep forest albeit short trail walk in the middle of the city is pure magic. There are number of streams, downed logs for seating and lots of shade.

There are a few different entrances (Beech St, Glen Manor Dr and Kingston Rd), we came in from Kingston and there were a few 100 stairs to make it down. We managed to see the cute stream (pictured below) and then found a cute shaded area to eat lunch (pictured above).

The middle of the trail is the entrance from Beech and it literally looked like we were in Hawaii!

The trail is not stroller friendly so keep babies in a carrier and leave the bikes/scooters at home. The air is fresh and the way the sun pours in through the trees is amazing – you’ll just wish the trail was much longer :)

My Evolution Of Journaling

Posted on January 8, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Looking inward to find ways to be better for myself is by journaling.

For free writing and diary type entires, I’ve relied on my @dayoneapp. I can write long, free-form and always had an option to export my entire month or year of journaling to a PDF.

I started using the @fiveminutejournal 3 years ago because I wanted to be more present and grateful. It was by far the easiest way to keep me grounded.

When my mornings got to busy and I couldn’t even find 5 minutes to write in the morning because I didn’t have the time to myself I started using the app version of the journal. I would use it on my morning commute – it and made gratitude journaling more convenient.

A few days ago, I found out that I can combine my free form journal writing with my gratitude practice with the ease of an app! I still use paper and pen daily but having everything available on the go without the bulk of a book is a game changer!

Do you journal? Which app do you use or do you prefer a paper journal?

5 Ways to beat the winter blues & a trip to TO Christmas Market

Posted on December 13, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

When the whether dips, it’s not uncommon to feel seasonal depression. With the sun no longer shining as much, the need to bundle up all.the.time and the persistent search of a warm getaway – it’s easy to lose perspective. I am learning to give in a little bit. Enjoy the warm soups, choose sautéed veggies over cold salads and drink as much tea as I want.

Here are a few other ways to enjoy the colder months…

Get cozy: fleece PJs (matching with family members? even better), fuzzy house coat, warm slippers and turning on the fireplace…!

A mug of your favourite warm beverage: Tea, coffee multiple times a day. Better enjoyed with a friend.

Watch all the best movies or series: Ok so it’s true, Friends is leaving Netflix but there are tons of Holiday movies to enjoy this time of year.

A warm cozy bed: I love love love the feeling of getting into bed with clean sheets after a hot shower. Switching to a duvet at this time of year can be wonderful.

Being grateful: Every morning and every night or really any time of day when you feel your mood slip. Take a moment to breath and give thanks.

Another important thing to do in winter? Get out of your house. For a walk around the block, to an seasonal event or a winter activity. Take a little more planning but you really won’t regret it.

My Weekend in Seattle

Posted on October 15, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few Thursdays ago I left my babies for the FIRST time ever and flew to Seattle to visit my best friend from University. We became best friends during our undergrad and roommates during our undergrad. And after we graduated, we both grew up in separate ways (I stayed course with my career in the GTA and she pursued med school and competitive speciality in her field in the US).

Considering our lives took two separate directions we worked really hard in maintaining our friendship. Now that doesn’t mean we talk everyday or even regularly on the phone. But it does mean putting in the effort to communicate and meet up when we can.

I flew in late into Seattle and arrived just after 10pm but our plane was stranded on the tarmac as there were no available gates. They finally got a mobile ramp and bus out to us so we could get into the airport. I was exhausted by the time I got to my friends house and we went to bed as soon as we could. Because I was still on Toronto time we were up by 6am (9am Seattle time). We did a ton of sight seeing, eating, drinking cocktails, walking and of course chatting. I was back on the 7am flight out of Seattle so I could be back in toronto at a reasonable time to see the girls but also get ready for the work week.

Honestly speaking, I was worried I wouldn’t have the energy to go and really be present (like could I rally after so many years!) but I guess anything is possible (like a late night fiesta) after a mid day siesta :) and an understanding friend.

We started the weekend off by getting the best view of the city skyline at Kerry Park. After we got tons of photos we followed that up with brunch and extra large mimosas at Toulouse Petit. I had the truffle and asparagus omelette – sooo good!

We then went out to Freeway park, a secret concrete waterfall hidden among the highway systems that go through the downtown core. I loved all the lines and geometry of the structures.

We then checked out another hidden waterfall closer to the downtown core. After a quick game of connect 4 in Pioneer Square, we walked to a General Porpoise, a popular donut and cafe shop in Capitol Hill. After a quick pitstop at Target (man it still hurts that they left Canada) we went to the biggest tourist attraction of all Pike Place Market. We tried blowing the perfect bubble gum bubble (way harder than it looks), rode the Miner’s Landing indoor merry-go-round took pictures a pretty pink wall, went up to this gorgeous root top bar only to leave within 15 minutes because they didn’t have a decent enough food menu, so instead (and thankfully!) ended up at this popular perogies stand at Pike Place. We then grabbed an uber home and I literally slept for 2.5 hours! Only waking up to get dressed and head out to dinner at List which had the MOST amazing fresh mozz salad. We followed that up with some strong drinks at Navy Strength, a tiki bar in the same area. AND then we went back to Toulouse Petit, for a night cap :)

The next day we had every intention to work out, but after the tiki bar/night cap situation, I figured it would be better if I took it easy and eat a few grilled cheeses. We watched a too many episodes of FRIENDS and chatted about life before heading out to do some shopping. I picked up stuff for the girls and A, some workout gear and a little something at Nordstrom Rack before we went to grab a late lunch at Bario, had a double scoop of ice cream at Molly Moons, a stroll through the rainbow crosswalks and tried a speciality roast affagato at the Starbucks Reserve & Tasting Room. We arrived for dinner around 6 at Cafe Flora, a very busy vegetarian/vegan restaurant.

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of

Posted on October 6, 2011 by thrulesyeux

Back from our weekend in NYC. I’ll be sharing a few of the 640 pictures I took (yes in 48 hrs)! Great weekend rushing around to see touristy places I’ve never been to, shutterbugging, eating (a little too much) and spending time with my family. Happy Thanksgiving!