Self Concept, Self Esteem & Self Confidence

Back in the cave person days, the humans focused only on survival. This meant having safe shelter at night, food to eat and not being attacked by a predator. Back than, the cave person’s brain focused on conserving energy and avoiding risks. Which means, our ancestors got a dopamine hit every time they were or felt safe.

The modern human brain is evolved, but the reward driven dopamine requirement is still in there. Also the speed of reward timing has changed. For most of the population on earth finding shelter and food is much easier now then it was back then. So we’ve adapted to finding new ways to get that dopamine hit – enter manifestation, the pursuit of goals and just having control over the chaos.

Our current society is little broken. We lack a sense of identity or tie it the wrong places (e.g. career, marriage or something else outside of ourselves). With the re-emergence of the idea of the “self concept” (thanks for social media which has amplified it) by adjusting our own understanding of who we are (or our self concept) we can quickly achieve anything we want.
Although the speed at which we can attain these goals can vary, I do believe that having a strong self concept can help us achieve goals, raise our vibrations and improve our brain’s neuron pathways for change and plasticity.

First let’s start with some definitions.

Self Concept is the belief and underlying image you have of yourself. It can initially be separate from your emotions or feelings but when it is enhanced by your underlying emotions – it is usually enhanced and can be ferociously strong and therefore something you strongly desire to attain. Self Concept can operate in your current 3D and can be used as a tool to attract a desirable state that you do not currently see in your 3D. (meaning Self Concept can be tuned beyond your current reality)

Self Image is literally how you see yourself in the 3D. This means self image is more about your current self, roles, characteristics and even how you look. Self image is shaped by your lived experience, memories and feedback – but its really how you think people view you.

Self Esteem is the emotional weight you have on your self image. Self esteem is often tied to how worthy you believe you are, or even how much respect you have for yourself. Self esteem is based on your internal standards and emotional responses – which means self esteem can be diminished based on how we judge ourselves but it’s helps us understand how we feel about ourselves.

Having an understanding about these are important because self-concept is the one that can be changed and repositioned to help manifest our goals. Neville Goddard spoke about this a lot in his work – specically about the “Law of Assumption”. And there are 3 main ways you can transform your self concept.

  1. Identify it
  2. Assume it is true
  3. Live from the end

Whether it’s affirmations, mirror talk, future self journaling/gratitude lists, embodying and living as that manifestation. Although I do most of these, I do feel that embodying the self concept I’m striving for is the most efficient way to achieve your desires. You aren’t necessarily waiting for something to happen, you are going out and making it happen in your current 3D.

Say you want to be an published author. Instead of thinking about it or trying to be inspired by reading about other authors – commit to behaving like one every day. Whether that’s writing one paragraph in your journal, typing 500 words from your outline or editing something you’ve written previously. Embodying the behaviours of an author or any goal you desire is the best way to improve your self concept and manifest your dreams.

Affirming it and be delusional about it happening (detaching from a the timing) is great but over sometimes we can get in our own head about things. A negative mindset hates a moving target, and our brains can’t tell the difference between a goal achieved and goal thought about – so might as well do both!

My Japan Trip Recap

Although I’ve undertaken a personal syllabus in Japanese wisdom over the years (such as shinrin-yoku, kaizen, etc) I never really thought about traveling to Japan.
Thankfully, my husband loves to explore and enjoys picking places to for us to adventure.

So in July, we spent 14 days in Japan, exploring Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka with a day trip to Mt Fuji and Hakone. The natural beauty and cultural experiences were definitely worth seeing/experiencing. But more than that, it was the little moments in between for me where I was able to take note of the people, the country’s history and how the society operates.

Of course travel opens you up to new perspectives, which in the cas of Japan can also make you see how their rules create resolutions for many daily challenge – a few included below:

  • There are no trash cans in Japan. They were all removed after a chemical gas attack that was hidden in a subway garbage bag. This means everyone carries their trash around until they get home (or back to the hotel for tourists). Which in part, keeps the country extremely clean.
  • Group harmony is ingrained in everyone’s personal responsibility. People form single file lines, are extremely organized, everyone sits to eat (as opposed to walk and eat), being quiet in public transit is expected and everyone makes the effort not to cause inconvenience to other people
  • Everyone has a job and no job is beneath anyone
  • People do not point with one finger or hand money to people/cashier directly in their hand (but rather placed in a tray)
  • Shoes are removed and face coverings are worn in clothing retailer fitting rooms so products remain clean
  • Senior citizens are very independent and self reliant. The amount of times I saw hunched over elderly slowly making there way up and down stairs in the subway system was amazing
  • Laziness is considered a disease (to the point where I rarely saw public seating in malls or underground shopping areas)
  • The society operates to create efficiency and convenience for it’s people. Hotels have ammenities bars so minimal packing is required by guests, 7/11 uses data insights to restock it’s shelves and fridges with fresh food items including sushi, trains always on time to the second & take away food is packed so well that even food delivery arrives without any spills
  • And even though this is last on the list, indoor square footage is a hot commodity. Having a hotel room more than 31 square meters is not the norm – mainly because Japan is a very densely populated country

Ok hoping that provides some future Japan tourists with a little taste but now on to the sight seeing. Japan felt a little like a video game (think: Animal Crossing lol). You spend the day walking, seeing/buying/gachapon’ing beautiful things. You take in beautiful sights and get food points through out! With that said, if you are travelling with multiple family members (think: grandparents and their grand kiddos) – I would say these are the must sights to see:

  • Sky views: Shiodome Caretta, Umeda 360, Shibuya Scramble, Shibuya sky or any of the city towers
  • Snack runs a all the Konbinis (7/11, Family Mart, Lawson)
  • Cultural experience like chopstick carving, sushi making, Sumo fight, Japanese artist galleries or a Kimono/Samurai tea ceremony
  • Shrines (pick a few as there MANY!)
  • Interesting neighbourhoods in Tokyo: Shinjuku & Harajuku etc
  • Gashapon (but be careful it’s addictive)
  • Shopping (make a list but if anything you should definitely window shop)
  • Teamlabs
  • Station markets
  • Book a driver for the day and see if you can catch a glimpse of Fujisan
  • Food Markets
  • Day trip to Nara
  • Ride the bullet train
  • Castles & Palaces

Planning Japan was my hobby from 6-11pm in the evenings leading up to the trip. And because Japan is such a popular destination right now (thanks to TikTok) booking certain attractions require advance reservations (such as TeamLabs, Shibuya Sky etc).

Hoping this recap provides some inspiration and pro tips for your Japan Trip!

Six tips on how to become a Renaissance Woman 

Oxford Online Dictionary* defines a Renaissance Woman “as a woman with many talents”.

And Britannica.com describes the Renaissance period to have been characterized by a surge of interest in learning, exploration, science (like the realization that the Earth revolved around the Sun) classical wisdom and arts.

And the arts really took center stage during the Renaissance due to the convergence of humanism and economic conditions that supported and encourage the progress of making art.

Something about Renaissance really speaks to me. I think its the “being able to enjoy one’s many interests” that I want to embody. As generalist, in a professional setting and a multi-passionate in my personal life, I inherently gravitate to the idea of enjoying as many hobbies & passions as possible.

That can be curse and a blessing. A blessing because you get to pursue everything that you feel is beautiful in life, a curse because you may never feel fulfilled.

So here are a few tips that I use to continue to balance all of my interests (be a modern Renaissance Woman if you will) while actually being present in my life!

  1. Make a list of all of your interests, Blue sky thinking is the key here, then prioritize ruthlessly. Figure out what you actually want to do sooner rather than later. Keep this list hand
  2. Taking your highest priority interests and schedule them as activities (in your Google calendar, planner, outlook etc) during the week/month/year or seasons. This way, you can prioritize your high value activities, create repetition – which in turn improves progress towards your interest. Actually scheduling time and by finding small pockets in your calendar to pursue your interests can really show the balance and helps move things forward. As an example, I have specific times of the week that I will work on blog content, go to pilates or use my duolingo app to learn a language.
  3. Make some interests a habit, I used a Habit tracker app to track that I make time to paint 3 times a week, do my skin care daily and even read 10 pages.
  4. Of the un-prioritized interests, be ready to defer to the future! This means some interests may not be pursued in the coming month or other timeframe you are expecting. This is a character building choice, which although allows time for obligatory activities or responsibilities, and helps you learn to give yourself grace.
  5. If a particular obligation or responsibility cannot be avoided – master it! (e.g. cooking or doing activities in your business/career that you don’t particularly appreciate or enjoy). For me, that’s cleaning – but knowing how to clean (instead of outsourcing it or ignoring the cleaning) is important for my kids to see what an all rounded woman is.
  6. Do not allow yourself to become creatively jealous. With short form content all around us, this will require you to have discipline not to doom scroll YouTube shorts or Instagram reels).
    Remember what you see here is just a highlight reel and what may seem like a quick victory is actually years of mastery. Instead focus on your own goals and interests, and if you do want to watch the content – be inspired by it!

My fav quote from “What I talk about when I talk about running”

I recently read “What I talk about when I talk about running” by Haruki Murakami. If you are runner, I’m sure you’ve stumbled upon this as a book to add to your TBR. I found it beautiful! Haruki Murakami’s stoic sharing of running as an act of meditation, resiliency and goal setting completely resonated with me. And because he took those themes and applied them to being an artist (him being a writer) was the icing on the cake for me.

The book is a very easy read and can be easily finished in a day. For me, books really come alive when they have ah-ha moments – really good quotable parts of the text that make me stop and write down what I read. Here are a few of those moments (and moments of me running as well!)

Commute & Read (Library Books as much as possible)

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school.

I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.

Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself.

People sometimes sneer at those who run every day, claiming they’ll go to any length to live longer. But I don’t think that’s the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you’re going to while away the years, it’s far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive than in a fog, and I believe running helps you do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that’s the essence of running, and a metaphor for life.

Sometimes taking time is actually a shortcut.

Being active every day makes it easier to hear that inner voice.

I just run. I run in void. Or maybe I should put it the other way: I run in order to acquire a void

The HEALTHIEST muffins I’ve ever made

When you think of healthy foods, what do you think of?
For me it’s foods that have healthy ingredients, like spinach and no added sugar or added flour.
So when I heard about these spinach muffins, I knew I had to give them a try.

I also love that you can hide the healthy food in a fun food but still not completely disguise it (I mean the muffins are green!)

For balance you can definitely add dark chocolate chips (like I did) or a use wheat flour (I always prefer oat flour in my baking) or white sugar (if that’s your preference).

The real star is the SPINACH – so don’t mess with that!

The muffins turned out kind of like banana bread and you can’t taste the spinach AT ALL!

So happy to have tried baking again (it’s been a hot minute), and sharing more healthy-ish but quick baking recipes I LOVE!

QUICK & EASY breakfast quiche!

A few years ago my husband and I watched Suits. Truth be told, we watched it more for our personal amusement of identifying Toronto Landmarks. However, this was also the time I learned about Meghan Duchess of Sussex. This was right before she joined the Royal Family but more the creative mind behind The Tig.

I love me a good lifestyle and fashion blog but I only caught a glimpse of The Tig, before it was taken down because Meghan became a Duchess.

But alas I digress. Well not exactly! I recently watched “With Love, Meghan” and she made a quiche. It actually inspired me to do the same. So I did what any other millennial middle working mom – went to tiktok to find an easier version of the hard to make recepies that I know I’ll never make.

Enter this quick and easy crustless quiche! Read below and enjoy!

Ingredients:

  1. 1 Large Tortilla
  2. 4-5 Eggs
  3. 1.25 cups of cottage cheese
  4. Chopped veggies of choice (I have leftover: red pepper, asparagus)
  5. Cilantro
  6. Garlic Pepper
  7. Salt and Pepper to taste
  8. Shredded cheese

Steps:

  1. Preheat oven at 375 degrees
  2. Spray pie pan with olive oil or butter
  3. Shape tortilla into pie pan
  4. Mixing all ingredients except cheese and pour into pan lined tortilla
  5. Top with cheese
  6. Bake for 30-35 min
  7. Let cool, slice and enjoy!