5 top ways to be more confident in your career

Posted on December 7, 2023 by Bhanu Misra Marya

One thing about me, is if I can share my wisdom I will. I do a lot of mentoring in my corporate girlie life. And I also look for opportunities to be mentored. I’ve had a few great mentors over the years who have guided, protected and propelled me – so I really feel passionate about giving back.

Sometimes, those mentors are in my company, in my personal life or even virtual.

So consider me your virtual mentor! I hope these tips can help you exude more confidence in your job, career, big dreams and beyond.

Don’t take personalities or communication styles personally
I find that as adults making friends is a hit or miss. There is such a mix of characters and preferred ways of interacting that we can be friendly with some and frenemies with others. The same applies in the workplace. There is also a mix of personalities and communication styles (cultures and genders can add to the bag). Remind yourself that when people are being direct, it is not personal.
Stop putting others on a pedestals
If you think other people around are better or smarter than you, because of a certain job title, project they are on or experience – they probably arent. And you can prevent the feeling of under confidence by not assuming people are better than you purely based on what you see. Remember everyone is going through something, even if you can’t see it.
Assume you are doing well (unless you are told otherwise)
Managers have a responsibility to have transparent conversations with their employees about work activities and performance. So unless you are being told otherwise, assume everything is going well!
Remind yourself its not that serious
Perspective is important. Remember if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 seconds thinking about it. Zoom out and get a higher point of view. Put in an honest effort, but don’t lose sleep or miss your breaks/PTO because of it.
Reframe your negative thoughts into positive ones
We often think the worse in every situation. It actually takes more effort and energy to negative than positively. If you feel like you are asking too many questions, remind yourself that you want to have clarity. But also if you get feedback that at first stings, take it as an opportunity to improve.

Collision Conf

Posted on July 13, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Sharing a tiny review of my experience at Collision Conference 2022 in Toronto

What is Collision Conf:
It’s the leading tech conference in North America. The conference is made up booths, several stages for speakers/panels/fireside chats, master classes and workshops. The topics are wide ranging from human centric AI, diversity in tech to purpose-led products.

What I like best about the conference?
The energy by far was a vibe. Idea sharing, Innovation and creativity was everywhere from the conversations between people, the talks on stage or the information learned at booths.

My favourite master class/workshop:
I attended a talk about table talk exercises – which delivered both standard IT practices but also innovative testing methods (great information for my current role). I also really really enjoyed a talk about purpose led business (good people doing good people).

My favourite booth?
The Women in Tech lounge – obviously! Although technically not a booth it was just a great space to hang out, grab a coffee, meeting people or catch up with colleagues. It was my home base!

Feb Mini Goals

Posted on February 8, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Loving the TikTok trends of monthly mini goals and Taylor’s Swifts new $hit. Had to make my own!

Have you tried this trend?

Feb Mini Goals, Goal Setting, TikTok Trend, Stay Focused, That Girl Goals

Fireside chat with a group of working moms

Posted on May 20, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a fire side chat hosted by a panel of working moms.

I am in a phase of my life where I look for inspiration from other moms, namely other working moms. I love receiving advice on how to find a complementary lifestyle between career and home, but also other important facets of one’s life like hobbies, fitness and personal growth.

Being in a technology / software development industry, I mainly hear from women in IT. But this group of mom’s was different kind of panel: they were a group of working mom’s in health care.

Yep doctors…! The type of people who give up their lives for the wellness of others. Surprisingly, what they deal with as mom’s is the same as what every other mom deals with!

Thought I’d share some of the topics that were discussed:

Ask for help: Everyone’s need and type of help is different, but the important thing is to actually be okay with asking and accepting help. For some of us it can be full time paid help (like a nanny / daycare) or it could be having a baby sitter two times a month to help out for date night. One idea that I hadn’t thought of is befriending other parents. Invite your child’s friends over for playdates and work on those parent friendships – they could come in handy when you are in a pinch.
Sacrifice: Every day is a sacrifice when you are mom who works outside of the home. (Hell when you are a mom period!) You are either a great mom and not giving your career your everything or you are a killing it on the career front and neglecting your duties at home. One thing to remember is that your kids will be okay and better for it seeing you pursue something that challenges you and makes you feel happy. Ditch the guilt and quiet the voices.
Time away from your career: Taking a mat leave will effect your career or business – there is no doubt about that. Your career and business will struggle during mat leave and afterwards for a bit. That’s inevitable! Create a plan to figure out how you want to move up and keep your eyes on the prize.
Plan when to have your babies: There is no right time but having a solid handle on your finances will help.
What motivates you to keep going in your career: All the mom’s had really interesting reasons so I feel the need to share them all:
- “I felt a need to do something just for me”
- “I wanted to provide for my kids, give them the things I couldn’t have in my childhood”
- my passion became my purpose”

Childcare Pick Ups, Dinner and Evening Routines

Posted on November 26, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Normally, A and I get home from work together. I mean with Go Trains schedules, 6pm Childcare pick ups and 8pm bed times – we run a pretty tight ship. Outside of the rare occasion when one of us runs late with a meeting or a work event we make every effort to be home together and spend those 2-3 hours together as a family in the evening. It really is a blessing that we are able to do that, but we both find the balance to make it work.

It’s funny because I really don’t know anything different! When I was growing up, my parents did the same thing, commute into the city for work and back home to the suburbs. Other than child care, there was no other help my parents had. No house keepers, no nanny, no help with the food, no one to shovel the snow, no online grocery services or professional laundry help. So as much work as it all is, coupled with a commute – it feels pretty normal to me.

On this particular day, A was not going to be home until after the girls went to bed – so that meant I’d be solo parenting that evening. Which if I am being honest – is always a daunting experience. We are a team when it comes to the evening routine and all things parenting, so when one of your team mates isn’t there to help out it can be a little scary.

To avoid any anxiety, I prepped the girls dinner the night before, made sure S was fully away of what was going to happen (open communication with her really helps me) and picked up my camera to focus on something other than the clock. In doing so, I created some precious memories!

Here is how our evenings usually go down:

5:15pm – A and I get off the train and run to our car to get out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. Completely normal practice for parents with child care pick ups!

5:30pm – Pick up the girls from 2 different places. Both in the same area and quite close to our home

5:40pm – We get home. We get inside and get ready for dinner. Hopefully we have something made already but if not then I quickly put something together :) The girls will usually play or S will do some homework.

6:10pm – We all eat dinner together. The girls will probably start eating at the table a few minutes before us. A and I catchup, S tells us about the day and E for the most part just listens. There is of course the usual “eat your veggies” and related bargaining :)

6:30pm – Dinner is finished, girls have something for dessert. A and I try to do some quick dishes and put away left overs for lunch. During the warmer months, we’ll hang out in the front yard, ride bikes, go for a walk, talk to our neighbours.

6:45pm – If we aren’t outside, we’ll be hanging out on the floor! We all just pile on to the play area carpet… play with toys, read books, chat some more and S finishes up some homework (if any is left over).

7:10pm – Take the girls upstairs to start bed time routine. If it’s a bath day it goes like this: bath/shower, milk (for E), brush, books, songs and bed.

A and I like to take the rest of the evening to do things to relax. Whether that is binge watching something on Netflix, going to the gym, cooking, writing/editing photos or catching up on work.

9-5 Pregnancy Style

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I have been working on this post for what feels like 2 weeks. As you can tell by the OBVIOUS bathroom selfies – my normal OOTD shots are kind of non existent. I really need to get a large full body mirror!

Anywhoo these are a few of my “corporate” looks while expecting. My go tos have been blazers by far. Preferably cropped and made with a light weight material that is not too restrictive. In most of the shots, my pants, dress, top, pantyhose are maternity which I’ve mixed with non maternity blazers and accessories.

What I’m Wearing: Thyme Dress Pants | Old Navy Tank | Smart Set Blazer | AMcQueen Scarf

What I’m Wearing: Thyme Maternity Dress | Smart Set Blazer

What I’m Wearing: Thyme Dress | H&M Cardigan

What I’m Wearing: Thyme Dress Pants | Old Navy Tank | M for Mendocino Blazer

What I’m Wearing: Motherhood Maternity Dress | Smart Set Blazer