It’s time for another chocolate cookie recipe

Posted on January 9, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

It’s been 3 days of “back to remote” learning. 3 days too long!

Sending good vibes to all the parents who are finding themselves in the 3rd lockdown (which means doing everything all of the time).

With that said – I’ve got a few things to share 1) an amazing new cookie recipe and 2) a few things that are keeping me focused.

I’ll start with what’s keeping me focused:

My morning routine! Meditate & Journal – helps to get my mind right and even if the days goes to sh!t, at least I took some time to set up my mindset
A daily walk: I try and go in the morning but if meetings don’t allow for it, I get my dose of vitamin D and forrest vibes in the mid afternoon
Daily workout: Whether it’s a fully body releasing stretch or a heavy lift day, workouts are a way to increase movement in my day after sitting at my own work desk or hunched over a JK’s desk
Prioritizing a personal goal: whether it’s reading for 10 minutes, making some art or making progress on a project – making time for myself makes me feel good

And for the days when even the above doesn’t work, we will always have a great cookie ;)

Sharing a new recipe I tried: Oatmeal Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie (because sometimes making cookies does WONDERS for the soul)

THEIR digital footprint

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I made the decision about 3 weeks ago to go back to one of my first decisions as a parent, that is to NOT post my children’s pictures online.

(What sparked this re-decision? My older child telling me that I couldn’t post her baby pictures online as part of a birthday post about her on Facebook. What had happened was I had shown her the draft post and she said she didn’t want me to share the baby pictures. And I did it anyway. But this is my chance at doing right).

I originally decided this back in 2013-2014 because I didn’t want their privacy to be taken away. If I did post a picture, it would be a creatively composed photo as to not show details of their face. It was a lot of fun (from a creative standpoint) but also it felt like the right thing to do i.e. protect them.

But I slowly released my grip on on this idea (particularly on my private/personal IG and Facebook accounts) because I mean everyone posts their kids pictures online without a second thought right? What harm could it really cause?

And that I realized… we don’t know what we don’t know! We don’t actually know what harm it could cause!

Firstly, what we do know is that social media is making our society less social, more concerned with things that aren’t any of our business and obsessed with vanity metrics (likes and followers). Which in turn is bringing up a myriad of mental health issues, feelings of isolation and a constent need to “keep up with the Joneses”.

With all that said, there are some real positives to social media. There is a sense of community, a great place to share and receive inspiration and the memes can really brighten your day :) but the long term use of social media is still unknown. I mean, we don’t really know what having all that content, pictures, opinions and thoughts online will be like for us in the future. What effect it will have on us? And how future tech will be able to utilize all that data.

Secondly I’m ALWAYS reviewing and questioning my OWN online footprint. I’m always wondering if I am over sharing or putting something out there that I wouldn’t say in real life. And part of the answer is yes, because it’s easier to talk to a screen then be social (I feel like that’s a modern day human condition but also because I’m an introvert).

But in my own case, at least I can make changes, evaluate my online sharing and adjust as needed. But for what I’ve shared of my kids? Well they don’t/didn’t really have a say nor did they get a chance to adjust because I’ve been posting about them and because they aren’t online yet.

There is a sense of guilt (welcome to motherhood) with my kids pictures being up for the last 2-4 years, and unfortunately those will probably be up forever.

And for that I’m truly sorry girls!

Part of being a parent is improving and being better. Parenting for me is a journey and requires a lot of mindfulness. And this is one of those opportunities. It’s a chance to realize my mistake and fix it.

Do you share your kids pictures/achievements/tantrums online? Have you ever thought about how it would effect them into adolescence and adulthood?

Childcare Pick Ups, Dinner and Evening Routines

Posted on November 26, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Normally, A and I get home from work together. I mean with Go Trains schedules, 6pm Childcare pick ups and 8pm bed times – we run a pretty tight ship. Outside of the rare occasion when one of us runs late with a meeting or a work event we make every effort to be home together and spend those 2-3 hours together as a family in the evening. It really is a blessing that we are able to do that, but we both find the balance to make it work.

It’s funny because I really don’t know anything different! When I was growing up, my parents did the same thing, commute into the city for work and back home to the suburbs. Other than child care, there was no other help my parents had. No house keepers, no nanny, no help with the food, no one to shovel the snow, no online grocery services or professional laundry help. So as much work as it all is, coupled with a commute – it feels pretty normal to me.

On this particular day, A was not going to be home until after the girls went to bed – so that meant I’d be solo parenting that evening. Which if I am being honest – is always a daunting experience. We are a team when it comes to the evening routine and all things parenting, so when one of your team mates isn’t there to help out it can be a little scary.

To avoid any anxiety, I prepped the girls dinner the night before, made sure S was fully away of what was going to happen (open communication with her really helps me) and picked up my camera to focus on something other than the clock. In doing so, I created some precious memories!

Here is how our evenings usually go down:

5:15pm – A and I get off the train and run to our car to get out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. Completely normal practice for parents with child care pick ups!

5:30pm – Pick up the girls from 2 different places. Both in the same area and quite close to our home

5:40pm – We get home. We get inside and get ready for dinner. Hopefully we have something made already but if not then I quickly put something together :) The girls will usually play or S will do some homework.

6:10pm – We all eat dinner together. The girls will probably start eating at the table a few minutes before us. A and I catchup, S tells us about the day and E for the most part just listens. There is of course the usual “eat your veggies” and related bargaining :)

6:30pm – Dinner is finished, girls have something for dessert. A and I try to do some quick dishes and put away left overs for lunch. During the warmer months, we’ll hang out in the front yard, ride bikes, go for a walk, talk to our neighbours.

6:45pm – If we aren’t outside, we’ll be hanging out on the floor! We all just pile on to the play area carpet… play with toys, read books, chat some more and S finishes up some homework (if any is left over).

7:10pm – Take the girls upstairs to start bed time routine. If it’s a bath day it goes like this: bath/shower, milk (for E), brush, books, songs and bed.

A and I like to take the rest of the evening to do things to relax. Whether that is binge watching something on Netflix, going to the gym, cooking, writing/editing photos or catching up on work.