How to find your why + a small exercise!

Posted on December 27, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You might have heard the popular sayings:

Come back to your why!

What’s your why?

Find your purpose!

I’ve been hearing it for years. But I’ve only recently made the connection. This is the way I see it: Passion is a day dream, but purpose is a S.M.A.R.T goal on your “life’s to-do list”. Passion is about doing something because you have an emotional connection to it. Purpose is direction and the reason for which something is done. Purpose is fuelled by reasoning and usually the reasoning is the answer to a why question.

It’s the answer to your why aka your why statement that gives you motivation to do what you do. Your why statement will be the reminder you need to keep moving in the direction of your purpose. For individuals your why statement is not only your purpose, it’s who you are, your cause, what you stand for or your belief. Of course many companies and organizations identify their why statement as a way to keep employees motivated in their work. So why shouldn’t individuals have a why statement for their lives?

Your individual why statement is evergreen. That means it makes sense and is applicable to any part of your life, whether that’s your career, your hobbies or your life overall. It is simple, actionable and expressed in affirmative language that resonates with you.

Employees who have identified their why statements are clear in their direction and therefore are more inspired to do the work they feel compelled to do.

Organizations who see this as a win will support employees and employees will be more engaged at work. I recently participated in an innovation program at work. The experience was both challenging and awakening.

Part of that awakening was determining my why statement. Here is an EASY exercise to find yours.

Tools: poster board, post its notes (standard size & few different colours), permanent markers, chart paper.
You don’t need any of these tools, but using actual paper products, pens and a wall helps your body and brain align and really get into this activity.

Step 1: Think about your life and brainstorm 5-10 times you felt most successful and then felt most challenged. Once you have these memories are listed (on your post it notes, piece of paper or word doc), review everything and try to notice any patterns. You may start to see some themes pop up like “team work”, “technology”, “lack of control” or “creativity” – the number of themes doesn’t but finding the themes does.

Step 2: Based on your themes, take note of your motivators. This will help you understand what your contribution to others lives will be and the value of those contributions

Step 3: Write your why statement with this format “To ____, so that _____”. The first blank is your contribution and the second blank is the impact of that contribution. This should come easily but also may be an iterative process (ie: write down your statement, then tweak it a bit, write it out again, change a little something and write it again – continue this process until you have something you feel good about).

Step 4: Share your why statement. Share it with your partner, your kids, your friends, your co-workers. Share it on twitter, on blogs, on IG and in whatsapp/teams/webex chats! It will be easy to share your why statement because it’s all you so there will be a level of pride and excitement.

And in the spirit of sharing, this is my why statement:

To create and lead an agile team, so that we build transformative solutions, achieve goals and inspire people.

Also it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share it or if you feel like the wording is a little off. Keep at it, you’ll get it to where it needs to be and be thrilled to share it with the world!

38 thoughts…

Posted on October 19, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Hey!! Today is my 38th birthday. Grateful for another trip around the sun and I felt compelled to write a list of 38 thoughts/words of wisdom that have inspired me…

1. Be creative everyday

2. Communicate with transparency in interpersonal relationships

3. Get out of your comfort zone

4. Use post it notes to organize, prioritize and remind yourself

5. Learn something new everyday

6. Surround yourself with successful people

7. Listen to more music

8. Understand your biases so you can move past them

9. Use your voice (both verbally and written) to share your ideas, thoughts and opinions (the world needs it)

10. Don’t follow the trends or masses

11. You don’t have to like, watch or do everything online, that your friends post/do or because everyone else is doing it

12. Sit in silence

13. Meditate and journal daily and in that order

14. Run (longer but slower), stretch and foam roll

15. Be better than you were yesterday

16. Being disciplined with yourself is self love

17. Drink more water

18. Nail polish isn’t something I need to wear everyday

19. Hug and say I love you to the kids/hubby multiple times a day

20. Your best & highest self is who you should connect to everyday

21. Reach out of your network to make new connections

22. Being an introvert is amazing

23. Read more / scroll less

24. Brain dumps and list making is very therapeutic

25. There are 3 mindsets you can use in any situation: growth, opportunity & detachment

26. Try your beat to envision your best self/life everyday (especially on the hard days)

27. Forest walks for the win

28. Before you go to bed: brush/floss your teeth, wash your face, wear an eye cream and brush your hair with your head upside down

29. If you really want something, talk openly about it to people who can support you in getting there

30. Listen, always listen

31. Know you are loved + love yourself

32. Appreciate where you are (knowing you wanted this!)

33. Dress up (and take a picture of your OOTD whenever you can!)

34. Slow down, rest, pIgor but then keep going

35. Mornings are my magic (morning pages, morning walks and especially morning distance runs)

36. Dance, for no reason

37. If you want something done right, best to do it yourself

38. Be grateful, always!

A quote that gives me peace and strength

Posted on January 15, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
If it’s a workday: Turn off my alarm, grab my glasses, phone/journal/pen. After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch :)
If it’s a weekend: And I haven’t been woken up by an alarm or by my kids, I check to see what the kids are doing. After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch lol!

What gives you energy?
My creative hobbies, completing a priority task, hugging my kids/husband or a really good run, confidence in my experience.

What is your secret life hack?
Practicing gratitude using the DayOne App with the built in Five Minute Journal templates.

Name a book that changed your life?
I have two from the last 10 years: The Alchemist and Light is the New Black.

Tell us about your relationship with your phone? Does it sleep with you?
I charge my phone on airplane mode on my nightstand, so no it absolutely does not sleep with me. I’ve had a goal to get our phones out of room at night. First step is to buy 2 alarm clocks and convince my husband to charge his phone elsewhere in the house overnight.

How do you deal with email?
Work email on a typical workday: I check my email too often. Both due to the nature of my work (I am a manager in the innovation & strategy space) and because it’s been a habit of my career. I would say several (5-10) times an hour.
Personal email on a typical day: Not as often because I only check it on my phone, maybe 3-5 times a day.

You unexpectedly find 15 minutes in your day, what do you do?
Pull out my e reader and hope that its charged so I can read!

When was the last time you felt burned out and why?
Over the Winter Break! It was the first time I had taken 2 weeks off since 2012. We hosted several dinners, I cleaned the house 4 times, had to take care of the kids full time for a few days and had to make the Christmas magic (mom’s you know what I mean). It was fun and exhausting. Definitely glad to be back to our regular routine after a full and lively break.

When was the last time you felt you failed and who did you overcome it?
Motherhood is the most humbling journey and I fail every day (i.e.: maybe I lost my patience, I yelled, looked at my phone too much in front of my kids or didn’t play with them when they asked). I don’t put myself down for every “failure” – I am human and a millennial mother in a digital age (we are the first generation of mothers/parents in this type of society) I overcome it by talking about what happened (with my kids or husband) and lots of hugs.

Share a quote that you love and that gives you strength or peace?
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself // Leo Tolstoy

Feel free to answer these questions in the comments below or on your own blogs or social medium of your choice!

(Where did you find these questions?)

More like this? Check out my year in review from 2018.

Happy New Decade!

Posted on January 1, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Happy New Year/Decade everyone! Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog, thoughts and motivations over the years (or even just today!). I definitely plan to continue creating content that resonates with me and you in hopes of helping those who choose to be here take the positivity and inspiration with them into own their lives!

I figured I’d pop on here and quickly post about my New Year Resolutions :)

I’ve always been a big believer in goal setting. I love sharing what I’ve learned about goals, motivation and productivity over on my Instagram and Twitter and here on the blog as well (check this and this)!

So for this year I am looking into developing a better skin care regimen. I drink a lot of water and eat my greens but I think I need to pay more attention to vitamins and the products I am using on my skin. Of course continuing my wellness journey is top of mind as well. I got a pull up bar for Christmas and I’ve already started a new workout program. Wellness also includes my mind / soul and making time for meditation and yoga is key for me this year. Also looking to increase knowledge and really explore and share my purpose. Lastly, I want to be a leader and not hide behind my fears.

More Selfcare | Less Careless
More Purpose | Less Panic
More Leading | Less Hiding
More Knowledge | Less Scrolling
I saw this great blogger do #LessIsMoreGoals and I thought it was an innovative take on New Years Resolutions

Shoes | Leggings | Hoodie | Coat | Sunglasses

Do you set New Year’s Resolutions?

More Like this? Check out my resoutions post from last year

THEIR digital footprint

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I made the decision about 3 weeks ago to go back to one of my first decisions as a parent, that is to NOT post my children’s pictures online.

(What sparked this re-decision? My older child telling me that I couldn’t post her baby pictures online as part of a birthday post about her on Facebook. What had happened was I had shown her the draft post and she said she didn’t want me to share the baby pictures. And I did it anyway. But this is my chance at doing right).

I originally decided this back in 2013-2014 because I didn’t want their privacy to be taken away. If I did post a picture, it would be a creatively composed photo as to not show details of their face. It was a lot of fun (from a creative standpoint) but also it felt like the right thing to do i.e. protect them.

But I slowly released my grip on on this idea (particularly on my private/personal IG and Facebook accounts) because I mean everyone posts their kids pictures online without a second thought right? What harm could it really cause?

And that I realized… we don’t know what we don’t know! We don’t actually know what harm it could cause!

Firstly, what we do know is that social media is making our society less social, more concerned with things that aren’t any of our business and obsessed with vanity metrics (likes and followers). Which in turn is bringing up a myriad of mental health issues, feelings of isolation and a constent need to “keep up with the Joneses”.

With all that said, there are some real positives to social media. There is a sense of community, a great place to share and receive inspiration and the memes can really brighten your day :) but the long term use of social media is still unknown. I mean, we don’t really know what having all that content, pictures, opinions and thoughts online will be like for us in the future. What effect it will have on us? And how future tech will be able to utilize all that data.

Secondly I’m ALWAYS reviewing and questioning my OWN online footprint. I’m always wondering if I am over sharing or putting something out there that I wouldn’t say in real life. And part of the answer is yes, because it’s easier to talk to a screen then be social (I feel like that’s a modern day human condition but also because I’m an introvert).

But in my own case, at least I can make changes, evaluate my online sharing and adjust as needed. But for what I’ve shared of my kids? Well they don’t/didn’t really have a say nor did they get a chance to adjust because I’ve been posting about them and because they aren’t online yet.

There is a sense of guilt (welcome to motherhood) with my kids pictures being up for the last 2-4 years, and unfortunately those will probably be up forever.

And for that I’m truly sorry girls!

Part of being a parent is improving and being better. Parenting for me is a journey and requires a lot of mindfulness. And this is one of those opportunities. It’s a chance to realize my mistake and fix it.

Do you share your kids pictures/achievements/tantrums online? Have you ever thought about how it would effect them into adolescence and adulthood?

Goal Set 2019

Posted on January 7, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Well we are officially into our first week of 2019, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t put any thoughts into new years goals. This year I wanted to keep it somewhat open ended and rather give myself room to explore where I want to be able to grow in 2019. Below are some areas I am working on this year!

1) Make our house our Home

2) Get educated

3) Practice creative consistency

4) Improve my self care activities

5) Keep focus on my wellness journey

6) Quality time for the relationships that really matter in my life

And there you have it – and yes that is the easy part.

When I used to have a gym membership, I remember the first 3 weeks of January it was so packed I’d have to wait for a cardio machine! But by February 1st, we were back to the regular gym crowd and having several treadmills always available to choose from.

It’s simple to write down the goals you want to work towards but actually reaching the goals is the hard part. From my own experience, I know that if you really want to achieve something, you have to “be ready” to (aka your mind has to “be ready”). And by that I mean, put in the time and effort, do the hard things and be flexible on the path.

So here are some tips to help you strive for progress while working towards your new year goals:

1️⃣ Use a Habit Tracker: a great way to mark that tiny step you took towards your goal is by tracking it. Checking a checkbox can be very satisfying and a great motivator for continued progress.
2️⃣ Set a Challenge for 30 Days: It could be that you want do 100 squats a day, cut out refined sugar or drink 8 glasses of water – try doing it for 30 days. Better yet start your 30 day challenge in February or March. It greatly reduces the stress around resolutions failing at the beginning of the year and also lets you try out something without a major commitment.
3️⃣ Reward yourself: I think this is the most important one. Try setting mini milestones and associated rewards when you reach them. It might be getting your nails done or buying new running new gear. Celebrating even the tiniest of wins is great for productivity and performance. Your brain will start to link pleasure with reaching a goal and continue to strive for that in the future.