Elora Hazel is 9 months and it’s been an intense month…
Lately and on-and-off I’ve been in a weird funk. I’ve be snappy and rude one minute and totally loving the next. One minute I am a multi-tasking goddess and the next I am pissed that I have to do everything. Also, I have a general feeling of being uninspired and demotivated. Feeling like I have fallen off the wagon in so many aspects of my life. Looking at my to do list and then feeling unaccomplished. Total #FirstWorldProblem slash sounding like a #Millennial (or Xennial as I am finding out)…. I know.
I think it’s a combination of realizing I head back to the working world in 4 short months and the isolation of Mat Leave that has brought up these feelings.
Outside of all that – wallowing in self pity is not a good look for me. I mean I didn’t even want to post this publicly.
So instead of complaining I figured I would teach. Teach myself, teach my daughters and teach any other girl, woman, mother how to help yourself when you are feeling not yourself.
- Try to create > consume:
I feel the the most out of it when I binge watch something on Netflix, mindlessly scroll Instagram or eat because I am bored. It’s literally taken me 34 years of my life to realize what it was. On the days I don’t create or accomplish something, whether thats dinner, workout, my step count, a painting, write in my journal or post on my blog – I feel like a slob. So I try to make sure what I create balances what I consume or ideally I create more than I consume.
- Comparison if used incorrectly is the killer of joy:
In our social media ridden society it’s to easy to get caught up with what our friends and family are doing. What I’ve learned is that everyone is in a different season of life. And with each season/phase come different victories and different challenges. Navigating those ups and downs is what makes life ..life! So as much as I would love to be in a certain place doing certain things – I have to keep grinding. And the best way to set myself up for success is only compare myself to my past self. “This isn’t about doing everything exactly right; it’s about doing something a bit better a bit at a time.” (such a powerful idea, although I can’t take credit for these words)
- Guilt-free time alone/time away:
This is huge for me. I always complain that I want to have time alone with the Hubz but I feel so guilty asking for help with the girls. No words or wisdom or experience here just that I need to get over that.
Here we are 7 months Ellie Babe.
She is entertaining us so much right now. If I am not cleaning up the puddle in front of her chin then I am literally changing her clothes or bibs 3-4 times a day because she’s blowing raspberries. She is too quick to grab things (like the salt and pepper shaker from the dinning table, books or pens in my hands and even my coffee or tea mug). She loves saying “da da” and on occasion has said “na” and “ba ba”. No “ma ma” yet :(
She’s always interested in what her sister is doing and loves cuddling us all. She loves the bath so I am thinking about taking her to the pool once a week before we officially put her in swimming lessons.
She’s been eating at least twice a day – mainly because I’ve been lazy giving her lunch on the weekdays :/ So I am sure she’d take more. It’s hilarous when she thinks any food going into our mouths is for her. She’s really into sweet potato, banana and cheesy scrambled eggs.
We finally got her ears pierced although I was in no rush as she has an uncanny resemblance to her Nani (maternal grandmother). I remember with Miss S, she looked too much like a girl version of the Hubz I pierced her ears ASAP lol.
She’s really into banging things together, dancing (really its just a little lachak in her hips), claps on demand and has been initiated into the season of Fall with a few colds :(
She loves playing on her tummy and exploring things upright while sitting. Rolls from her back to tummy and starting to turn to the side when she’s on her back – only if she’s got the right motivation (aka our iPhone). We love encouraging her to do 360 turns while on her tummy (think: the hands moving around the face of a clock) with the right motivation which is currently a Fidget Spinner.
It’s hard to believe that six months of my mat leave is already over. Well technically I’m already halfway trhrough the seventh month which leaves me with five-ish months left of maternity leave. This blog post is just some free writing because I have a ton of thoughts and I need to get them out. I don’t want to over edit this post because then I’ll probably won’t hit publish.
When I first started my leave, I set a lot of goals for myself during this time. One of the biggest priorities I had established for myself was to stay motivated and productive. With setting that goal I managed to get a lot accomplished sooner than later during my leave. Setting such a big goal (essentially dreaming big) also help me learn about myself.
I’ve learned that I’m a creative. I need to do something creative everyday to feel fulfilled.
Being fit and working out is important to me. I feel good when I make getting a workout in a priority.
I’ve learned that writing publicly makes me more intentional but also highlights / serves as a reminder of my failures (which obviously doesn’t bother me very much as you can go through my weekly goals and notice many of the tasks repeated week after week because they never got done).
I’ve learned some really cool productivity hacks such as using the microphone on my iPhone to write blog posts and lists, the effects of bullet journaling on my everyday life. And that #DocumentYourDays is important as reflecting back helps you correct as you move forward.
I’m inspired by motivational quotes, journaling, inspirational people on social media. (I already knew these things but it’s a good reminder to myself).
Matt leave it’s both invigorating and isolating (more on this in a future post).
I’ve also learned that being self-motivated within an unstructured day takes a lot of work and effort.
Self care is really important.
Creating more than I consume prevents burn out (and overall anxiety).
I am not perfect and and I shouldn’t get let myself get down and out if I can’t do everything right from the get go. I’ve learned that its more about doing something a little bit better a little bit every day.
And here we are, ½ year old Ellie Bellie. She celebrated like any baby should – in Las Vegas! :-P
Right before she turned 6 months she figured out how to roll from her tummy to her back. She’s been trying new foods and grabbing things we are holding in our hands or food we are putting in our mouths!
She’s really into examining things by moving them from hand to hand, putting them in her mouth or just starting at it intently. She still loves trees and I think she kind of loves the song “Part of your world” from The Little Mermaid. She’s trying really hard to sit up unassisted and is not a fan when we take her toes out of her mouth during a diaper change.
Ellie is really giving us a run for our (parenting) money but from I am understanding that is the natural evolutionary path of adding another kiddo to the mix.
August 16-17 2017 will be the day I remember that I did it. The thing I’ve been so fearful of as a mom of two.
Taking care of both my girls solo.
Going out with both my girls solo.
(…No help or even moral support with me near by)
And I did it!
Doing a daycare pick up with both kids is routine for me, but doing that, followed by trip to Melonhead to get Miss S’s hair cut, followed by a walk around the grocery store as we waited for the Drs walk in clinic to open was uncharted territory for me.
The next day, I took them out for some fresh air in the morning, a grocery run in the afternoon and then to the library. The second day included a poopie diaper change in the trunk of our car while it rained cats and dogs. Then dealing with 2 meltdowns in a matter of 4 minutes.
But what I will remember most about this day: I conquered my fear, I took joy in listening to Miss S belt it out on a frozen song (realizing that’s how I took found my singing voice – singing Disney songs), the interaction between the girls and that I conquered a fear.