5 things to quit this week

Posted on March 2, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few days ago, I realized that it had been some time since I picked up my camera and take some creative shots. So I set up some items around my house, put on a cute outfit and cleaned up my desk to get some photography.

Sometimes I hold myself back from 1) actually taking the time to create with my camera and then 2) sharing it here on instagram. And I’m not entirely sure why. I think creativity was meant to be shared with the world. That doesn’t necessarily mean friends and family will like it or even agree with it – which is OK (I’m being taught this lesson over and over by different situations).

Also part of the creative process is taking some rest so you can come up with the crazy ideas that you plan to execute on. So picking up my camera after a few months of rest is something I need to give myself grace about.

With all that said, most times it’s the voice in our head is what’s stops us from doing the things we know will nourish our soul. So I’m sharing 5 things to quit this week which helped me get out of my creativity rut!

Staying in your comfort zone: Sometimes I think “it’s just easier to not shoot photos because then I don’t have to worry about them looking terrible”. And although this thought can be comforting, it’s actually creating more harm than good. Be consistent and be comfortable getting out of your comfort zone.

Overthinking: Ruminating, spinning, wondering why you did something a certain way or wishing all together you hadn’t done something at all. Such a terrible habit and so defeating to your self esteem. Instead, let your mind think about the thought/situation, ask yourself if it will matter in 5 years (in most cases it won’t) and then let your mind consider what was one good thing that came from the experience.

Sacrificing your own happiness/mental well being for others: This is a simple and obvious one. It takes time to realize that you don’t need to be responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own.

Being afraid of being different: If you want to wear the hoop earrings – do it. If you want to compliment someone – go for it. If you want to be off camera during a meeting while everyone is one – don’t let it stop you. This one came in waves this week but you accepting yourself/your decision is the most important thing.

Ignoring your purpose: Whenever you hear that voice in your mind saying “you should pick up your camera/paint brush or take those dance lessons or spent an hour writing” don’t ignore it!

Just looking at the menu

Posted on February 9, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I almost started adding these to cart. But then I remember I had put this together and decided to make a little graphic instead.

And WHY is it so hard to find the perfect pair of round toe strappy sandals…!

Crystal Ball of Delusion

Posted on January 6, 2022 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Showing up as your present self:

Passage from a book…

One of our favourite ways to abandon our self control is to justify our sins of the present moment with planned virtues of the future. For example, research shows that simply planning on exercising later, can increase the likelihood not eating healthy right now. This way of thinking not only reeks of moral licensing, but also introduces another critical flaw into the mix. The assumption that we will somehow make a different decision in the future, then we do today. (ie: today I will skip my workout, but tomorrow I will double up or today I will binge my favourite TV shows, but then I wont watch anymore for the rest of the week.)
We simply give our future selves too much credit. Counting on them to do whatever we can’t bring ourselves to do right now. We are too quick to assume we’ll be more enthusiastic, energetic, willful, diligent, motivated, brave, morally strong in a couple of days, weeks or months.
Such optimism could be okay, if we knew we could actually follow through on it all. And we both know thats now how it goes. When the future finally arrives, the nobel idealized version of ourselves – is nowhere to be found. And the demands we face aren’t nearly as easily as we told our selves they would be. What to do then? Put it all off again of course, hoping that our saviour will rescue us next time.
This type of thinking simply burdens our future self with impossible load of tasks and responsibilities.

21 reminders from 2021

Posted on December 27, 2021 by Bhanu Misra Marya

The last few weeks have been have been strange for me in terms of direction and focus. Something must be said for following your inner knowing…because I find myself returning to thoughts I’ve always had about my purpose and my work, which to me means – that I’m still on a journey (and I just got side tracked – again lol).

Readjusting my aperture is what I call it (photographer here, and that play on words was absolutely necessary). I know that I’ll be constantly reminded of what I am meant to do so long as I’m not doing it. Kind of like you’ll keep receiving the same lessons until you finally get the message #ThankYouUniverse!

aperture, photo blur, self portrait, self care, growth mindset, mindset coach, self growth, productivity, goal setting, mentor, virtual mentor, planner, goal setting, intention, photography, fine art photography — *adjusting my aperture*

I think it’s okay to lose your way or to get distracted because I’m a firm believer that you’ll always hear a voice and be nudged back on to your path. So I think it’s important to lean into that voice and let that nudge guide you.

This post will also serve as is a reminder to myself that I’m still in progress. (And hey if you need it – take this as your sign too).

So in the spirit of having the right mindset and getting myself to realign to my goals and reprioritize what’s going on in my life, I’m sharing 21 reminders from 2021.

Important to note: this list is evergreen – these reminders apply to ALL areas of your life. Purpose, Career, Healthy Lifestyle, Productivity, Good Habits, Social Life, Personal Projects, Building a Business…seriously I could go on!

What we need to take away is that it’s always about the journey, that we can always re-adjust our focus and that it’s totally OK to start again.

Everything we experience, will come in peaks and valleys
When you think you’ve been buried, you’ve actually been planted so get ready to bloom
Success is rarely achieved over night
The fact that you are trying, is in and of itself hard
When you need to plan something or find that you aren’t balanced – try the 3 bucket principle
You’ll never be the same woman again, so celebrate with her everyday
Breath and be grateful (every hour if necessary, which sometimes it is necessary)
Make art, it soothes the soul
Don’t put your energy into only one thing because if that one thing goes sideways you’ll feel lost
Never expect your first draft to be the best version
Balance is key
If it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.
Good things take time (instant gratification is something we need to break free of)
Enjoy your success, Learn from Failure – and remember anything can happen
Never let the internet fool you (everyone has a chapter they won’t read out lout, and some have a chapter they will never even write)
When in doubt, go for a walk in nature
Always appreciate the therapeutic power of putting pen to paper and letting everything out
Find ways to learn, especially when things seem out of your control
Pomodoro timer as a productivity hack for the win
When you fail to plan you plan to fail: Goals for the year, milestones for the quarters, activities for the months, tasks for the day
Need to focus, make a cup of coffee first

39 Laps (around the sun & running track)

Posted on October 29, 2021 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Last week I celebrated my 39th birthday! I took the day for myself and did all the important things that matter to me to me most. Outside of regular adulting/mom duties – here is how I spent the day…

I woke up, meditated & journaled.

Ran 15.6km (exactly 39 laps around a highschool race track*)

Went grocery shopping and donated it all to the food bank.

Picked up my birthday freebies at Sephora and Starbucks

Came home read a little then watch SATC

After school, the fambam sang happy birthday and the girls ate cupcakes

Had a quick photoshoot ;)

Lastly went to dinner!

Here is a quick video about my special day!

*You might remember I set up this goal for myself earlier this year!

How to find your why + a small exercise!

Posted on December 27, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You might have heard the popular sayings:

Come back to your why!

What’s your why?

Find your purpose!

I’ve been hearing it for years. But I’ve only recently made the connection. This is the way I see it: Passion is a day dream, but purpose is a S.M.A.R.T goal on your “life’s to-do list”. Passion is about doing something because you have an emotional connection to it. Purpose is direction and the reason for which something is done. Purpose is fuelled by reasoning and usually the reasoning is the answer to a why question.

It’s the answer to your why aka your why statement that gives you motivation to do what you do. Your why statement will be the reminder you need to keep moving in the direction of your purpose. For individuals your why statement is not only your purpose, it’s who you are, your cause, what you stand for or your belief. Of course many companies and organizations identify their why statement as a way to keep employees motivated in their work. So why shouldn’t individuals have a why statement for their lives?

Your individual why statement is evergreen. That means it makes sense and is applicable to any part of your life, whether that’s your career, your hobbies or your life overall. It is simple, actionable and expressed in affirmative language that resonates with you.

Employees who have identified their why statements are clear in their direction and therefore are more inspired to do the work they feel compelled to do.

Organizations who see this as a win will support employees and employees will be more engaged at work. I recently participated in an innovation program at work. The experience was both challenging and awakening.

Part of that awakening was determining my why statement. Here is an EASY exercise to find yours.

Tools: poster board, post its notes (standard size & few different colours), permanent markers, chart paper.
You don’t need any of these tools, but using actual paper products, pens and a wall helps your body and brain align and really get into this activity.

Step 1: Think about your life and brainstorm 5-10 times you felt most successful and then felt most challenged. Once you have these memories are listed (on your post it notes, piece of paper or word doc), review everything and try to notice any patterns. You may start to see some themes pop up like “team work”, “technology”, “lack of control” or “creativity” – the number of themes doesn’t but finding the themes does.

Step 2: Based on your themes, take note of your motivators. This will help you understand what your contribution to others lives will be and the value of those contributions

Step 3: Write your why statement with this format “To ____, so that _____”. The first blank is your contribution and the second blank is the impact of that contribution. This should come easily but also may be an iterative process (ie: write down your statement, then tweak it a bit, write it out again, change a little something and write it again – continue this process until you have something you feel good about).

Step 4: Share your why statement. Share it with your partner, your kids, your friends, your co-workers. Share it on twitter, on blogs, on IG and in whatsapp/teams/webex chats! It will be easy to share your why statement because it’s all you so there will be a level of pride and excitement.

And in the spirit of sharing, this is my why statement:

To create and lead an agile team, so that we build transformative solutions, achieve goals and inspire people.

Also it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share it or if you feel like the wording is a little off. Keep at it, you’ll get it to where it needs to be and be thrilled to share it with the world!