Fall back into Action!

Posted on September 3, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been see; depart, be lost, but climb” // Edna St. Vincent Millay

I love September! Fresh start, crisp mornings, new recipes, tall boots, beautiful fall photography :)

September has always felt like the start of a New Year of Learning. And although I no longer am in school or formal education, it’s important for me to remember that I should continue to grow and learn. I try to do this as often and as easily I can by: doing new things, reading books, listening to podcasts/Ted Talks or simply by changing my perspective to understand a topic more deeply. I often forget that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or confused some days. It’s on those days that I need to take a time to rest and recover but also not forget to keep my goal in mind and continue to scale that mountain.

I am taking this this upcoming month to fall back into action! I want to get back into good routines and stay focused. I put together this checklist to keep me motivated and ahead of my goals as we move into the colder months!

The grass is greener where you water it

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I recently wrote an article for an Employee Resource Group that I am part of. The topic I was given was the “Science behind happiness”. Although I was given this topic to write about, I became fascinated by the research behind happiness. Everything I read and presented in this article aligns with my thoughts so I figured I’d share my piece here too!

Did you know there is scientific research behind being happy? Believe it or not, happiness is not just reserved for the few lucky ones amongst us. Rather, every one of us can control our own happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky renowned social psychologist and Ph.D. from Stanford has found that although 50% of our happiness is rooted in our genetics, the remaining combination is 10% our circumstances and 40% of our intentional activities.

So what exactly does that mean? Even though the science states that 50% of our happiness is due to our genetics, it’s actually an indirect relation, meaning there is always room for improvement – we can influence our genetic happiness by our experience and behaviour. More importantly, the other 50% of our happiness is essentially controlled by being aware of our circumstance and intentional about our thoughts, outlook and actions. Everyone has a choice and we can easily choose to be happy.

Why is this important? Being happy increases self-regulatory and coping abilities. Some scientists say that it can strengthen your immune system, make you more energetic and even allow you to enjoy a longer life. Plus, being happy is contagious! If you are happy and around happy people – the happiness keeps growing!

How can one practice cultivating happiness? Many of us may look to our careers, partners, family/children or other external forces to influence our happiness. What we need to remember is that happiness isn’t something we find, it’s something we create and practice daily. The research shows that activities we initiate from ourselves such as maintaining our fitness levels, counting one’s blessings and pursing personal goals are the key to happiness. Here are some other ways to cultivate happiness in your life:

– Practice acts of kindness (volunteering or charity work)

– Practice daily gratitude

– Avoid social comparisons

– Pursue a hobby

– Nurture relationships

– Focus on spirituality or a religious practices that speak to you

– Avoid over consumption on Social Media

– Taking care of your body and mind (being physically active, practicing self-care, meditating)

Goal Set 2019

Posted on January 7, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Well we are officially into our first week of 2019, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t put any thoughts into new years goals. This year I wanted to keep it somewhat open ended and rather give myself room to explore where I want to be able to grow in 2019. Below are some areas I am working on this year!

1) Make our house our Home

2) Get educated

3) Practice creative consistency

4) Improve my self care activities

5) Keep focus on my wellness journey

6) Quality time for the relationships that really matter in my life

And there you have it – and yes that is the easy part.

When I used to have a gym membership, I remember the first 3 weeks of January it was so packed I’d have to wait for a cardio machine! But by February 1st, we were back to the regular gym crowd and having several treadmills always available to choose from.

It’s simple to write down the goals you want to work towards but actually reaching the goals is the hard part. From my own experience, I know that if you really want to achieve something, you have to “be ready” to (aka your mind has to “be ready”). And by that I mean, put in the time and effort, do the hard things and be flexible on the path.

So here are some tips to help you strive for progress while working towards your new year goals:

1️⃣ Use a Habit Tracker: a great way to mark that tiny step you took towards your goal is by tracking it. Checking a checkbox can be very satisfying and a great motivator for continued progress.
2️⃣ Set a Challenge for 30 Days: It could be that you want do 100 squats a day, cut out refined sugar or drink 8 glasses of water – try doing it for 30 days. Better yet start your 30 day challenge in February or March. It greatly reduces the stress around resolutions failing at the beginning of the year and also lets you try out something without a major commitment.
3️⃣ Reward yourself: I think this is the most important one. Try setting mini milestones and associated rewards when you reach them. It might be getting your nails done or buying new running new gear. Celebrating even the tiniest of wins is great for productivity and performance. Your brain will start to link pleasure with reaching a goal and continue to strive for that in the future.

Reflecting on 2018

Posted on January 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Happy New Year!
It’s been an intense year for me. And I didn’t want to end it without doing a little review. So here goes…! (PS: I got the template of questions from here)

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Finally, starting up on a new project, doing the work that I longed to do and knew I was 200% capable has been very invigorating. Although it wasn’t easy and it was 3 years of putting my goals aside. Just a reminder to myself. Success doesn’t happen over night. There was a lot of work involved. There was a lot of leaning on my support system. There was a lot of tears and stress. But at the same time I saw a strength in me that I hadn’t seen in a year. I was yearning for something better and doing all the right work to get it. But something inside of me told me that a positive attitude and optimistic mindset coupled with that hard work – would get me where I needed to be All the success stories I read, positive quotes I wrote down, self reflection, optimistic thinking, blood, sweat and tears – it all worked together to get me the jump I needed.

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Taking care of E while on Mat Leave. Everything was a challenge, feeding, napping, that she crawled early so I was always having to watch her all.the.time, the fact that she had a different attention span so even going to the library program was hard. What I’ve learned about her this year is that she is determined, she knows what she wants and she’ll do whatever necessary to get what she wants.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Miss S’s growth and development – as our first born child, as a big sister, as a responsible member of this family. It was not something I was expecting but now I understand what parents mean when they say it’s such joy to see their children grow!

What was an unexpected obstacle?

“corporate hierarchy”

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Balance
Challenge
Strength

Pick three words your partner would use to describe your year—don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you.

Perseverance
Motherhood
Amazing

Pick three words your partner would use to describe their year—again, without asking.

Challenging
Fulfilling
Father

What were the best books you read this year?

Light is the New Black is hands down the most powerful book I’ve read in my adulthood. On that note: I’ve created a list of books to read in 2019 (can’t wait to dig in)!

Who were your most valuable relationships with?

My Family
My Husband
My Daughters

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Getting back to fitness
Returning to work

In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I grew out of trying to please everyone for the sake of everyone else’s happiness. Now I am doing what makes me comfortable to make sure I am the best mom/wife I can be.

In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

After reading Light is the New Black I knew that there is help all around me and everything happens for a good reason and in good time. I leaned to pay more attention to my intuition and to the signs from the universe.

In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Found my fitness inspiration again

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

The Misters and my relationship is transitioning from “surviving parent mode” back to a balance between parenting and love relationship.

What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Being creative, writing docs, interacting with people and learning new things everyday
Being a mom is my greatest joy and my greatest challenge

What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Working with new people
Not being considered for more growth, well more than what was given to me
(…and that’s OK more for me to work on so I can prove people wrong!)
Being a mom, is probably the most unrewarding work

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

My phone

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

My commute. I used it for reading, for writing, editing photos, for listening to podcasts/music, to learn / get education, chatting with the Mister, planning or just taking a nap!

What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

My mind is incredibly strong and what I/You think is what I/You become

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

“Just keep moving”. Whether is the last km of a run, getting something completed before needing to catch my train, drinking an extra glass of water, being a little more patient … You’ve got to just keep moving.

Childcare Pick Ups, Dinner and Evening Routines

Posted on November 26, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Normally, A and I get home from work together. I mean with Go Trains schedules, 6pm Childcare pick ups and 8pm bed times – we run a pretty tight ship. Outside of the rare occasion when one of us runs late with a meeting or a work event we make every effort to be home together and spend those 2-3 hours together as a family in the evening. It really is a blessing that we are able to do that, but we both find the balance to make it work.

It’s funny because I really don’t know anything different! When I was growing up, my parents did the same thing, commute into the city for work and back home to the suburbs. Other than child care, there was no other help my parents had. No house keepers, no nanny, no help with the food, no one to shovel the snow, no online grocery services or professional laundry help. So as much work as it all is, coupled with a commute – it feels pretty normal to me.

On this particular day, A was not going to be home until after the girls went to bed – so that meant I’d be solo parenting that evening. Which if I am being honest – is always a daunting experience. We are a team when it comes to the evening routine and all things parenting, so when one of your team mates isn’t there to help out it can be a little scary.

To avoid any anxiety, I prepped the girls dinner the night before, made sure S was fully away of what was going to happen (open communication with her really helps me) and picked up my camera to focus on something other than the clock. In doing so, I created some precious memories!

Here is how our evenings usually go down:

5:15pm – A and I get off the train and run to our car to get out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. Completely normal practice for parents with child care pick ups!

5:30pm – Pick up the girls from 2 different places. Both in the same area and quite close to our home

5:40pm – We get home. We get inside and get ready for dinner. Hopefully we have something made already but if not then I quickly put something together :) The girls will usually play or S will do some homework.

6:10pm – We all eat dinner together. The girls will probably start eating at the table a few minutes before us. A and I catchup, S tells us about the day and E for the most part just listens. There is of course the usual “eat your veggies” and related bargaining :)

6:30pm – Dinner is finished, girls have something for dessert. A and I try to do some quick dishes and put away left overs for lunch. During the warmer months, we’ll hang out in the front yard, ride bikes, go for a walk, talk to our neighbours.

6:45pm – If we aren’t outside, we’ll be hanging out on the floor! We all just pile on to the play area carpet… play with toys, read books, chat some more and S finishes up some homework (if any is left over).

7:10pm – Take the girls upstairs to start bed time routine. If it’s a bath day it goes like this: bath/shower, milk (for E), brush, books, songs and bed.

A and I like to take the rest of the evening to do things to relax. Whether that is binge watching something on Netflix, going to the gym, cooking, writing/editing photos or catching up on work.