Goal Set 2019

Posted on January 7, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Well we are officially into our first week of 2019, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t put any thoughts into new years goals. This year I wanted to keep it somewhat open ended and rather give myself room to explore where I want to be able to grow in 2019. Below are some areas I am working on this year!

1) Make our house our Home

2) Get educated

3) Practice creative consistency

4) Improve my self care activities

5) Keep focus on my wellness journey

6) Quality time for the relationships that really matter in my life

And there you have it – and yes that is the easy part.

When I used to have a gym membership, I remember the first 3 weeks of January it was so packed I’d have to wait for a cardio machine! But by February 1st, we were back to the regular gym crowd and having several treadmills always available to choose from.

It’s simple to write down the goals you want to work towards but actually reaching the goals is the hard part. From my own experience, I know that if you really want to achieve something, you have to “be ready” to (aka your mind has to “be ready”). And by that I mean, put in the time and effort, do the hard things and be flexible on the path.

So here are some tips to help you strive for progress while working towards your new year goals:

1️⃣ Use a Habit Tracker: a great way to mark that tiny step you took towards your goal is by tracking it. Checking a checkbox can be very satisfying and a great motivator for continued progress.
2️⃣ Set a Challenge for 30 Days: It could be that you want do 100 squats a day, cut out refined sugar or drink 8 glasses of water – try doing it for 30 days. Better yet start your 30 day challenge in February or March. It greatly reduces the stress around resolutions failing at the beginning of the year and also lets you try out something without a major commitment.
3️⃣ Reward yourself: I think this is the most important one. Try setting mini milestones and associated rewards when you reach them. It might be getting your nails done or buying new running new gear. Celebrating even the tiniest of wins is great for productivity and performance. Your brain will start to link pleasure with reaching a goal and continue to strive for that in the future.

Reflecting on 2018

Posted on January 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Happy New Year!
It’s been an intense year for me. And I didn’t want to end it without doing a little review. So here goes…! (PS: I got the template of questions from here)

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Finally, starting up on a new project, doing the work that I longed to do and knew I was 200% capable has been very invigorating. Although it wasn’t easy and it was 3 years of putting my goals aside. Just a reminder to myself. Success doesn’t happen over night. There was a lot of work involved. There was a lot of leaning on my support system. There was a lot of tears and stress. But at the same time I saw a strength in me that I hadn’t seen in a year. I was yearning for something better and doing all the right work to get it. But something inside of me told me that a positive attitude and optimistic mindset coupled with that hard work – would get me where I needed to be All the success stories I read, positive quotes I wrote down, self reflection, optimistic thinking, blood, sweat and tears – it all worked together to get me the jump I needed.

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Taking care of E while on Mat Leave. Everything was a challenge, feeding, napping, that she crawled early so I was always having to watch her all.the.time, the fact that she had a different attention span so even going to the library program was hard. What I’ve learned about her this year is that she is determined, she knows what she wants and she’ll do whatever necessary to get what she wants.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Miss S’s growth and development – as our first born child, as a big sister, as a responsible member of this family. It was not something I was expecting but now I understand what parents mean when they say it’s such joy to see their children grow!

What was an unexpected obstacle?

“corporate hierarchy”

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Balance
Challenge
Strength

Pick three words your partner would use to describe your year—don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you.

Perseverance
Motherhood
Amazing

Pick three words your partner would use to describe their year—again, without asking.

Challenging
Fulfilling
Father

What were the best books you read this year?

Light is the New Black is hands down the most powerful book I’ve read in my adulthood. On that note: I’ve created a list of books to read in 2019 (can’t wait to dig in)!

Who were your most valuable relationships with?

My Family
My Husband
My Daughters

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Getting back to fitness
Returning to work

In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I grew out of trying to please everyone for the sake of everyone else’s happiness. Now I am doing what makes me comfortable to make sure I am the best mom/wife I can be.

In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

After reading Light is the New Black I knew that there is help all around me and everything happens for a good reason and in good time. I leaned to pay more attention to my intuition and to the signs from the universe.

In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Found my fitness inspiration again

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

The Misters and my relationship is transitioning from “surviving parent mode” back to a balance between parenting and love relationship.

What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Being creative, writing docs, interacting with people and learning new things everyday
Being a mom is my greatest joy and my greatest challenge

What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Working with new people
Not being considered for more growth, well more than what was given to me
(…and that’s OK more for me to work on so I can prove people wrong!)
Being a mom, is probably the most unrewarding work

What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

My phone

What was the best way you used your time this past year?

My commute. I used it for reading, for writing, editing photos, for listening to podcasts/music, to learn / get education, chatting with the Mister, planning or just taking a nap!

What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

My mind is incredibly strong and what I/You think is what I/You become

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

“Just keep moving”. Whether is the last km of a run, getting something completed before needing to catch my train, drinking an extra glass of water, being a little more patient … You’ve got to just keep moving.

Childcare Pick Ups, Dinner and Evening Routines

Posted on November 26, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Normally, A and I get home from work together. I mean with Go Trains schedules, 6pm Childcare pick ups and 8pm bed times – we run a pretty tight ship. Outside of the rare occasion when one of us runs late with a meeting or a work event we make every effort to be home together and spend those 2-3 hours together as a family in the evening. It really is a blessing that we are able to do that, but we both find the balance to make it work.

It’s funny because I really don’t know anything different! When I was growing up, my parents did the same thing, commute into the city for work and back home to the suburbs. Other than child care, there was no other help my parents had. No house keepers, no nanny, no help with the food, no one to shovel the snow, no online grocery services or professional laundry help. So as much work as it all is, coupled with a commute – it feels pretty normal to me.

On this particular day, A was not going to be home until after the girls went to bed – so that meant I’d be solo parenting that evening. Which if I am being honest – is always a daunting experience. We are a team when it comes to the evening routine and all things parenting, so when one of your team mates isn’t there to help out it can be a little scary.

To avoid any anxiety, I prepped the girls dinner the night before, made sure S was fully away of what was going to happen (open communication with her really helps me) and picked up my camera to focus on something other than the clock. In doing so, I created some precious memories!

Here is how our evenings usually go down:

5:15pm – A and I get off the train and run to our car to get out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. Completely normal practice for parents with child care pick ups!

5:30pm – Pick up the girls from 2 different places. Both in the same area and quite close to our home

5:40pm – We get home. We get inside and get ready for dinner. Hopefully we have something made already but if not then I quickly put something together :) The girls will usually play or S will do some homework.

6:10pm – We all eat dinner together. The girls will probably start eating at the table a few minutes before us. A and I catchup, S tells us about the day and E for the most part just listens. There is of course the usual “eat your veggies” and related bargaining :)

6:30pm – Dinner is finished, girls have something for dessert. A and I try to do some quick dishes and put away left overs for lunch. During the warmer months, we’ll hang out in the front yard, ride bikes, go for a walk, talk to our neighbours.

6:45pm – If we aren’t outside, we’ll be hanging out on the floor! We all just pile on to the play area carpet… play with toys, read books, chat some more and S finishes up some homework (if any is left over).

7:10pm – Take the girls upstairs to start bed time routine. If it’s a bath day it goes like this: bath/shower, milk (for E), brush, books, songs and bed.

A and I like to take the rest of the evening to do things to relax. Whether that is binge watching something on Netflix, going to the gym, cooking, writing/editing photos or catching up on work.

Day in the Life Photography Session – Reviews + Photos!

Posted on November 11, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

All photos by Ashley Eve Photography.

This post is way over due! To put some context behind the statement. We had this session in July, I booked the session in January and I actually started following Ashley in November of the previous year 😃

Screen Shot 2018-08-11 at 9.53.03 PM

Ashley is the photographer behind Ashley Eve Photography. One of the most easiest going photographers I’ve ever worked with. She’s passionate about her photography style which is about capturing families in their natural state: brushing teeth, kids in time outs, bubble play in the backyard, eating lunch. She calls it “Day in the Life” photography and I call it brilliant!

What I really liked about Ashley is that she’s doing something different. Her photography is showing a very personal side of a family. It’s raw and authentic. At the same time it’s beautiful, intricate and dynamic.

Disrupting an industry isn’t only about Technology, Automation and AI. It’s about having an improved customer-centric approach to old business standards.

Ashley is very responsive by email, her business organization is impeccable, and the fact that she does everything (client brochures, contracts, pricing packages) via an E-commerce CRM tool excited the software engineer and BA side of me!

And to top it all off, she is very flexible and accommodating. She offers a pre-session video call (through all available mobile systems) and will come to photograph wherever you and are family are most comfortable.

Quick & Easy DIY Diwali Gift Wrapping

Posted on November 7, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Today is Diwali (the Festival of Lights celebrated by Indians!)

I figured today would be a good day to post about this QUICK & EASY DIY gift wrapping idea that I planned for my parents. It’s honestly something you can whip together before any evening festivities you may have today. Or prep in advance for a weekend celebration.

Exchanging mitahi (boxes of very rich flavoured Indian sweets) is customary at Diwali. My family is pretty liberal in our sweets exchange as most of my family doesn’t really eat the typical Indian sweets all that much. The siblings usually give each other chocolates and to the parents we’ll give a mix of dry fruits and nuts.

I loved this wrapping for Diwali but of course this could be used at Christmas or for a hostess gift!

Here’s a quick tutorial on how to recreate this wrapping for your family and friends:

What you’ll need:

Assorted nuts (I went with cashews and almonds, both dry roasted and unsalted because they are the best!)

Wide mouth mason jars with caps

Tissue wrapping in festive colours (2)

Ribbon

Tape

Scissors

Optional: dry fruit, indivially wrapped chocolate, diyas, name tag

What you’ll need to do:

First fill the jar with the goodies you have and close the lid.

On a flat surface, place the tissue papers (different colours) one on top of each other. Start by folding the layered issue paper 1-inch on to itself, continue folding over in the same direction by 1-inch, until you get to the end of the paper.

You can then fold the other end of the layered tissue paper and tape that folded end to make a clean end.

Take the folded tissue paper and cut a diagonal line approximately 3 inches from the top (if you do a curved line it will make the top look like plant leaves). Open the tissue paper and lay flat again.

Take your mason jar and roll the paper around the jar. You should keep about 2 inches near the end closest to the bottom of the jar (cut of excess paper if need be) and the leaves of tissue paper should be near the mouth of the jar. Make sure to tape the paper to the jar before you start rolling and the folded over end of tissue paper back to the paper on the jar.

Wrap the ends of paper to the bottom of the jar and feel free to make deep cuts on the “leaves” to open them up more.

Use the ribbon to tie a bow around the paper that is covering the lid of the jar. Plump up the tissue paper leaves, tape a diya to the lid or add a name tag. And voila!

Why I still celebrate Karva Chauth after all these years?

Posted on November 2, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Another year of fasting for Karva Chauth is over.

I always have to psych myself up for this day. All the traditions to remember, what goes where in my thali, trying to remember to not use a knife/scissors/nail clippers/sewing needle all day and then trying to recall the Hindi/Sanskrit poems I should know by now, it all makes me nervous because I feel like I’ll fail miserably.

On top of all that, the idea of not eating food for the entire day makes me very anxious because 1) I usually eat quite often in the day and 2) I hate being hungry.

The truth is I usually forget something in my thali, I always touch a knife or scissors (multiples before I make a conscious effort to not), I can’t even pronounce some of the words (thanks to my thick Canadian accent 😂) – but you know what? That’s ok! And even the fasting part – it’s more mind over matter. And when it’s all over and done with – it’s like “huh – that wasn’t so bad!”.

Although this year, I actually felt something different. It almost felt like resentfulness towards the idea of participating in Karva Chauth or questioning the whole thing…

Why am I still doing this?

I really wondered if the occasion was getting to be too conservative for me. If I was doing it more for the elders than for myself/the mister. Was it really a good use of my time? Was I diverging with my own personal opinions on the unfair treatment of women against the patriarchy. Was I showing my girls that I believed in archaic ideas and historic gender norms?

Aside from all of these thoughts, I continued on with my fast. But honestly, going through these questions in my mind gave me a refreshed my reasoning on participating in the fast.

I remembered why I started fasting on this day. It was because for years and years I watch my mom get up before the sunrise to do her small puja and eat the sargi she prepared for herself. When I was younger I knew I wanted to do the same.

I believe in being married and I am grateful for the relationship the Mister and I share (granted it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but I am thankful to be on this journey with him). So it gives him and I a scheduled day (yes – I said scheduled) to show our appreciation to each other.

I also realized that, having the girls see me participate in this particular cultural event is more so to teach them about who they are and the culture they are descendants. How beautiful is it to think that as a second generation Indian Canadian they may grow up to continue this tradition because they found inspiration from me! They also get to see how I make these traditions my own, how I take what works for me and keep things light and fun – so as to not get bogged down with conservative details but to smile and be thankful for what I cherish.

Most importantly, it gives me an opportunity to pay attention to my body, the time of day, how much activity I’m partaking in. A moment to pause, reflect and be mindful during the course of the day.

Lastly and definitely not least… who doesn’t log getting decked out in their most ornate clothes, complete with accessories galore and letting your husband and in laws paper you – definitely a perk!