How to find your why + a small exercise!

Posted on December 27, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You might have heard the popular sayings:

Come back to your why!

What’s your why?

Find your purpose!

I’ve been hearing it for years. But I’ve only recently made the connection. This is the way I see it: Passion is a day dream, but purpose is a S.M.A.R.T goal on your “life’s to-do list”. Passion is about doing something because you have an emotional connection to it. Purpose is direction and the reason for which something is done. Purpose is fuelled by reasoning and usually the reasoning is the answer to a why question.

It’s the answer to your why aka your why statement that gives you motivation to do what you do. Your why statement will be the reminder you need to keep moving in the direction of your purpose. For individuals your why statement is not only your purpose, it’s who you are, your cause, what you stand for or your belief. Of course many companies and organizations identify their why statement as a way to keep employees motivated in their work. So why shouldn’t individuals have a why statement for their lives?

Your individual why statement is evergreen. That means it makes sense and is applicable to any part of your life, whether that’s your career, your hobbies or your life overall. It is simple, actionable and expressed in affirmative language that resonates with you.

Employees who have identified their why statements are clear in their direction and therefore are more inspired to do the work they feel compelled to do.

Organizations who see this as a win will support employees and employees will be more engaged at work. I recently participated in an innovation program at work. The experience was both challenging and awakening.

Part of that awakening was determining my why statement. Here is an EASY exercise to find yours.

Tools: poster board, post its notes (standard size & few different colours), permanent markers, chart paper.
You don’t need any of these tools, but using actual paper products, pens and a wall helps your body and brain align and really get into this activity.

Step 1: Think about your life and brainstorm 5-10 times you felt most successful and then felt most challenged. Once you have these memories are listed (on your post it notes, piece of paper or word doc), review everything and try to notice any patterns. You may start to see some themes pop up like “team work”, “technology”, “lack of control” or “creativity” – the number of themes doesn’t but finding the themes does.

Step 2: Based on your themes, take note of your motivators. This will help you understand what your contribution to others lives will be and the value of those contributions

Step 3: Write your why statement with this format “To ____, so that _____”. The first blank is your contribution and the second blank is the impact of that contribution. This should come easily but also may be an iterative process (ie: write down your statement, then tweak it a bit, write it out again, change a little something and write it again – continue this process until you have something you feel good about).

Step 4: Share your why statement. Share it with your partner, your kids, your friends, your co-workers. Share it on twitter, on blogs, on IG and in whatsapp/teams/webex chats! It will be easy to share your why statement because it’s all you so there will be a level of pride and excitement.

And in the spirit of sharing, this is my why statement:

To create and lead an agile team, so that we build transformative solutions, achieve goals and inspire people.

Also it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share it or if you feel like the wording is a little off. Keep at it, you’ll get it to where it needs to be and be thrilled to share it with the world!

Quotes to start your Monday off right!

Posted on September 21, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few quotes to set you up for your week!

Life is a series of baby steps // Hoda Kotb

Lead from the heart, not the head // Princess Diana

Everyday is not success, every year is not a success, you have to celebrate the good // Reese Witherspoon

No one is you, and that is your super power // unknown

To succeed in life, you need 3 things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone // Reba Mcentire

Practicing Self Care during Physical Distancing

Posted on May 22, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

It’s been over 10 weeks since we started physically distancing.

Information is changing constantly and of course I am hopeful and I am also realistic. But I think I am extra sensitive these days.

Initially, it felt great having “extra time” but then life at home got busier with full time everything all the time!

Having to facilitate remote schooling, preparing wholesome learning activities, tutoring, all day child minding along with being a housekeeper, cook, partner. Mix in part time school and WFH – it literally left no time for anything else.

And then something clicked and I realized that this wasn’t going to be a sprint – but a marathon. I also realized I needed to re-adjust the action plan for the long haul.

The feeling of being extra sensitive comes and goes in waves – I’m trying to figure out what and when I’m triggered and remove those triggers from my immediate attention (I am sharing this in case others are feeling the same but also to share that this activity is part of the readjustment for the long haul).

So now I am taking it one day at a time, learning to relentlessly triage, give myself grace, slow down all while enjoying this special-unusual-new normal as much as I can.

I also remind myself of this:

happiness isn’t a destination
being positive is knowing things will get better even if they aren’t great right now

Apart from these thoughts, there is always a loud voice telling me to be creative. When I am not writing/taking pictures regularly I just feel off. So with whatever time I can manage, I’ll try to make space for creativity.

With all that said, I hope you are doing well and in case you need a recharge as we enter week 11 of physical distancing I’ve included some self care ideas to keep you going for the long haul.

Create a (new) routine. Realizing I didn’t have my commute, my morning step count/city walk, my time to scroll IG, read a book or catch up/make lists/plan. Although I don’t have a routine that makes me grounded, I had to be okay changing things up. Steps around the house or a quick walk with the girls around the street, read in bed while the house is closet/before getting up to start the day. Part of the routine also includes remote learning for the kids as well as teaching them about when we have work tasks/meetings. It’s a tricky balance but we are getting there.
Get dressed in something cute every morning. Ok I am definitely not wearing dress pants, skirts or blazers. But a fresh pair of leggings and a cute sweater can make all the difference.
Exercise and find ways to be active. Workouts have changed. Running outdoors doesn’t feel the same. I have to really fight for my 10k steps. But I do it anyways. I take the stairs more than I have to. I chase the kids. I try not to stand still and walk during meetings.
Talk to someone. I think since 2020 started, I realized that I became an introvert in adulthood. Or maybe I just crave my own space, quiet and stillness. But then I found that I needed to talk to people who filled my cup. I needed to surround myself with positivity and clarity. Thankfully I have a few people I can talk to.
Drink tons of water. Water/Sparkling/Herbal tea + multiple trips to the bathroom :)
Conscious Eating. We’ve started meal planning again or atleast writing a list of meals for the week so we can prep in advance or not have to think of options when it’s time to eat. Make grocery lists. And decide on when we want to indulge (because that happens!)

A quote that gives me peace and strength

Posted on January 15, 2020 by Bhanu Misra Marya

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
If it’s a workday: Turn off my alarm, grab my glasses, phone/journal/pen. After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch :)
If it’s a weekend: And I haven’t been woken up by an alarm or by my kids, I check to see what the kids are doing. After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch lol!

What gives you energy?
My creative hobbies, completing a priority task, hugging my kids/husband or a really good run, confidence in my experience.

What is your secret life hack?
Practicing gratitude using the DayOne App with the built in Five Minute Journal templates.

Name a book that changed your life?
I have two from the last 10 years: The Alchemist and Light is the New Black.

Tell us about your relationship with your phone? Does it sleep with you?
I charge my phone on airplane mode on my nightstand, so no it absolutely does not sleep with me. I’ve had a goal to get our phones out of room at night. First step is to buy 2 alarm clocks and convince my husband to charge his phone elsewhere in the house overnight.

How do you deal with email?
Work email on a typical workday: I check my email too often. Both due to the nature of my work (I am a manager in the innovation & strategy space) and because it’s been a habit of my career. I would say several (5-10) times an hour.
Personal email on a typical day: Not as often because I only check it on my phone, maybe 3-5 times a day.

You unexpectedly find 15 minutes in your day, what do you do?
Pull out my e reader and hope that its charged so I can read!

When was the last time you felt burned out and why?
Over the Winter Break! It was the first time I had taken 2 weeks off since 2012. We hosted several dinners, I cleaned the house 4 times, had to take care of the kids full time for a few days and had to make the Christmas magic (mom’s you know what I mean). It was fun and exhausting. Definitely glad to be back to our regular routine after a full and lively break.

When was the last time you felt you failed and who did you overcome it?
Motherhood is the most humbling journey and I fail every day (i.e.: maybe I lost my patience, I yelled, looked at my phone too much in front of my kids or didn’t play with them when they asked). I don’t put myself down for every “failure” – I am human and a millennial mother in a digital age (we are the first generation of mothers/parents in this type of society) I overcome it by talking about what happened (with my kids or husband) and lots of hugs.

Share a quote that you love and that gives you strength or peace?
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself // Leo Tolstoy

Feel free to answer these questions in the comments below or on your own blogs or social medium of your choice!

(Where did you find these questions?)

More like this? Check out my year in review from 2018.

How to be a good mom? (it’s not what you think)

Posted on May 12, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Who agrees with me that we should rename mothers day to Mother Figures day.

We need to be more understanding to the people who don’t have a mom, to the people who’s relationship with their mom is strained at best, to the people who dread this day because it makes them feel inferior, to the people who’s dad’s, grand parent, step parent, foster parent, aunt/uncle are mother figures, to the mom’s who just want a moment of quiet without the feelings of guilt and definitely to the mom’s who don’t think they are doing anything right (when they are actually doing everything right!)

If there is anything I’ve learned in the almost 5 years of being a mom is that it’s a thankless job. It’s both exhilarating and anxiety inducing. It’s a job where you have to be flexible and ready to change to keep growing and build something real. It’s a job where you have to remain calm when everything is chaotic. A job where transparent communication are critical to success. A job where you have to lead with love (especially on the days you want to punch a wall or throw your coffee mug at a window).

But with all that said it doesn’t take a certain type of person, certain type of pregnancy, birth experience or even a certain type of upbringing to be a good mom.

To be a good mom you just have be a good human.

So if you are a good human or you know a good human who deserves a treat (mom, mom figure or non mom) hopefully you can find some inspiration below :)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Warmer Weather Wish List 2019

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

We are officially in the dog days of winter! There isn’t any more expected snow fall but the temps are still pretty chilly. The grey and brown snow banks are slowly melting away and there is more sunlight in the early evenings. Like most Canadians, we are ready to pack away the cold weather gear and usher in the fresh Spring air.

Along with thinking about all the fun things to do as the weather warms up (honestly the simple things like opening the windows in the house 😂), I do get excited about shopping my closet to re-aquaint myself with all of my warm weather outfits.

But I thought I’d put this quick wish list together in an attempt to ignore the still quite frigid temperatures!