Things in your control right now

I’m trying a new thing with my workouts, including using a paper journal to write down my fitness routine. Staying optimistic but hoping that using a different strategy to track my workouts (ie: not digital) will keep me more honest and consistent with resistance training and challenging myself.

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And I feel that holding power over my workouts, romanizing it and even disrupting my usual exercise regime (within a controlable “blast radius) makes me feel like I have a little moe control in my life given the current socio-economic-politico environment…

But it’s more than my workouts, I feel like I have control when I take the time to put on a cute outfit to have dinner with the fambam. Annnndd because I loved all the depth and texture of the outfit, I took a little more control by taking a whole bunch of pictures of me in said outfit #FashionBlogger :)

May sound a little cheesy but it’s all about that #MainCharacterEnergy – and we all need to acknowledge that energy in our own life now and then…

If you are feel like not yourself, that something is just off or need to change things up a bit because you feel like you are just being tossed around …consider taking control of what you can to feel more like yourself…and to start…here are some ways:

Your thoughts: Replace negative self talk with the action of writing down positive affirmations or statements about about yourself!

What you eat Eat When was the last time you ate healthy whole foods, drank a full glass of water or switched up your coffee with an herbal tea.

How we spend our spare time: Give you mind a break from work/Netflix/unproductive activities (scrolling, gossiping etc) and do something creative, active, journaling (ie: to do lists, gratitude, brain dump)

How you react to things: Before immediately giving someone or a situation your attention give yourself a moment to pause before immediately reacting, it might actually change how you respond.

What content you consume Put down your phone and pick up a book. Unfollow and mute accounts that don’t lift you up. Learn or study instead of mindlessly watching. Create more than you consume.

Who you spend time with Surround yourself that build you up and inspire you. And it’s OK to spend time on your own as much as you need.

How we treat others Don’t waste energy treating people badly. Use that energy to focus on improving your well being or hanging out with people who matter to you.

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This reminds me of blogger me circa 2011

Boots – Amazon | Dress – Joe Fresh | Vest – M Boutique | Purse – Aldo

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Crystal Ball of Delusion

Showing up as your present self:

Passage from a book…

One of our favourite ways to abandon our self control is to justify our sins of the present moment with planned virtues of the future. For example, research shows that simply planning on exercising later, can increase the likelihood not eating healthy right now. This way of thinking not only reeks of moral licensing, but also introduces another critical flaw into the mix. The assumption that we will somehow make a different decision in the future, then we do today. (ie: today I will skip my workout, but tomorrow I will double up or today I will binge my favourite TV shows, but then I wont watch anymore for the rest of the week.)

We simply give our future selves too much credit. Counting on them to do whatever we can’t bring ourselves to do right now. We are too quick to assume we’ll be more enthusiastic, energetic, willful, diligent, motivated, brave, morally strong in a couple of days, weeks or months.

Such optimism could be okay, if we knew we could actually follow through on it all. And we both know thats now how it goes. When the future finally arrives, the nobel idealized version of ourselves – is nowhere to be found. And the demands we face aren’t nearly as easily as we told our selves they would be. What to do then? Put it all off again of course, hoping that our saviour will rescue us next time.

This type of thinking simply burdens our future self with impossible load of tasks and responsibilities.

How to find your why + a small exercise!

You might have heard the popular sayings:

Come back to your why!

What’s your why?

Find your purpose!

I’ve been hearing it for years.  But I’ve only recently made the connection.  This is the way I see it: Passion is a day dream, but purpose is a S.M.A.R.T goal on your “life’s to-do list”.  Passion is about doing something because you have an emotional connection to it.  Purpose is direction and the reason for which something is done.  Purpose is fuelled by reasoning and usually the reasoning is the answer to a why question.

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It’s the answer to your why aka your why statement that gives you motivation to do what you do.  Your why statement will be the reminder you need to keep moving in the direction of your purpose.  For individuals your why statement is not only your purpose, it’s who you are, your cause, what you stand for or your belief.  Of course many companies and organizations identify their why statement as a way to keep employees motivated in their work.  So why shouldn’t individuals have a why statement for their lives?

Your individual why statement is evergreen.  That means it makes sense and is applicable to any part of your life, whether that’s your career, your hobbies or your life overall.  It is simple, actionable and expressed in affirmative language that resonates with you.

Employees who have identified their why statements are clear in their direction and therefore are more inspired to do the work they feel compelled to do.

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Organizations who see this as a win will support employees and employees will be more engaged at work.  I recently participated in an innovation program at work.  The experience was both challenging and awakening.

Part of that awakening was determining my why statement.  Here is an EASY exercise to find yours.

Tools: poster board, post its notes (standard size & few different colours), permanent markers, chart paper.
You don’t need any of these tools, but using actual paper products, pens and a wall helps your body and brain align and really get into this activity.

Step 1: Think about your life and brainstorm 5-10 times you felt most successful and then felt most challenged.  Once you have these memories are listed (on your post it notes, piece of paper or word doc), review everything and try to notice any patterns.  You may start to see some themes pop up like “team work”, “technology”, “lack of control” or “creativity” – the number of themes doesn’t but finding the themes does.

Step 2: Based on your themes, take note of your motivators.  This will help you understand what your contribution to others lives will be and the value of those contributions

Step 3: Write your why statement with this format “To ____, so that _____”.  The first blank is your contribution and the second blank is the impact of that contribution.  This should come easily but also may be an iterative process (ie: write down your statement, then tweak it a bit, write it out again, change a little something and write it again – continue this process until you have something you feel good about).

Step 4: Share your why statement.  Share it with your partner, your kids, your friends, your co-workers.  Share it on twitter, on blogs, on IG and in whatsapp/teams/webex chats!  It will be easy to share your why statement because it’s all you so there will be a level of pride and excitement.

And in the spirit of sharing, this is my why statement:

To create and lead an agile team, so that we build transformative solutions, achieve goals and inspire people.

Also it’s okay if you aren’t ready to share it or if you feel like the wording is a little off.  Keep at it, you’ll get it to where it needs to be and be thrilled to share it with the world!

 

My Ideal Day

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I truly feel alignment is the spice of life.  Aligning to my goals, hobbies, dreams, passions, career and community – as much as I can EVERYDAY.   Of course there are days where what I want do is “align” to comfort (aka binge watch a series on Netflix!!)  But by choosing alignment, I make a conscious decisions when it comes to to re-aligning or readjusting my day to handle priorities or new needs.

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I recently did the daily habit score cards as outlined in Atomic Habits.  What you need to do is write down every thing you do most days.  Things like brush your teeth, drop your kids at school, read on the train, scroll IG while making a coffee, take a walk over lunch,  meditate before bed are some of the habits that I would need to record.  Even the habits you don’t think are important like snooze the alarm or set the alarm for the next day are recorded in this list of habits.  Then I used a +, – or = to denote positive/beneficial habits, negative habits and neutral habits.

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What this exercise did was help me visually see and recognize habits that weren’t helping me get to where I see myself in the future or on path to attain certain goals.  It’s a helpful way to honestly look at and become more aware of your behaviour.

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What it got me thinking about was, what my ideal day would consist of  (ie: turn my habits into goals).  It made me aware of what activities make me feel energized, bring me joy and what things I want to do to improve my everyday.  What I saw was those activities were grouped into the following categories:

  • Growth (Professional, Personal and Spiritual)
  • Exercise/Eating healthy foods
  • Quality Family Time
  • Being prepared
  • Doing Work that I enjoy and is a priority for me
  • Having fun
  • Getting Enough Rest

So here is a snapshot of what I see as my ideal day:

Wake up (without an alarm!), meditate and journal (optimal journalling practice for me would be either a brain dump/artists way writing, combined with gratitude, goal setting and a to do list).   Drink a bottle of water and then get dressed in my workout clothes and spend 15 minutes reading before the rest of the house wakes up.   If it’s a Wednesday or a Weekend, I’d probably wear a facemark. When the kids wake up, I’d help them get ready for the day and we all head downstairs. The kids would have breakfast and after dropping them off at school I’d do my outdoor workout (tempo run through a forest, HIIT or heavy weight training).  Getting back home, I’d drink water and have a healthy breakfast that I prepped the night before.  I’d make tea and refill my water bottle and get to work where I contribute to and add value to peoples life with both a tech and human centric approach.  I would schedule meetings for the afternoons because my most productive time is between 9am-2:30pm, I’d want to use that time to work, write, photograph, create, ideate, research, work on projects, strategize or consult.  I would break for lunch (to eat something I prepped the night before with lots of veggies/fibre, fish or eggs and a complex carb with more water) and definitely take a leisurely stroll to energize and also digest the meal.  I’d spend the remainder of my afternoon drinking more water and either in meetings, training or creating.  Before picking up the kids, I would love to have a tea break or coffee chat with a colleague or business partner.  After, picking the kids up from school, we’d have an afternoon snack and do homework or get to after school extra curricular activities. Dinner would be prepped or at least planned and we’d eat as a family. Before bed we’d hang out (go for a walk, bike ride or play a game or watch the WNBA game).  After the kids are in bed, I’d prep for the next day before taking some me time to either study, stretch/foam roll, shower, netflix or blog. I’d end the date with a peppermint tea with a few pieces of dark chocolate or home-made cookies. Definitely would want to be in bed by 10:30 after brushing/flossing my teeth and taking time to spiritually self reflect.

Wow just writing that out was so relaxing.  And of course things may come up where I’d have to adjust my attention to handle a priority but the hope is keeping my day as closely aligned to my main goal categories.  Every small step would create a ripple effect towards my goals.

Quotes to start your Monday off right!

A few quotes to set you up for your week!

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Skirt | OTS Top | Shoes | Purse | Layered Necklaces | Sun Glasses

Life is a series of baby steps // Hoda Kotb

Lead from the heart, not the head // Princess Diana

Everyday is not success, every year is not a success, you have to celebrate the good // Reese Witherspoon

No one is you, and that is your super power // unknown

To succeed in life, you need 3 things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone // Reba Mcentire

A quote that gives me peace and strength

What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
If it’s a workday: Turn off my alarm, grab my glasses, phone/journal/pen.  After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch :)
If it’s a weekend: And I haven’t been woken up by an alarm or by my kids, I check to see what the kids are doing. After regular getting up activities, I put on my apple watch lol!

What gives you energy?
My creative hobbies, completing a priority task, hugging my kids/husband or a really good run, confidence in my experience.

What is your secret life hack?
Practicing gratitude using the DayOne App with the built in Five Minute Journal templates.

Name a book that changed your life?
I have two from the last 10 years: The Alchemist and Light is the New Black.

Tell us about your relationship with your phone? Does it sleep with you?
I charge my phone on airplane mode on my nightstand, so no it absolutely does not sleep with me.  I’ve had a goal to get our phones out of room at night.  First step is to buy 2 alarm clocks and convince my husband to charge his phone elsewhere in the house overnight.

How do you deal with email?
Work email on a typical workday: I check my email too often.  Both due to the nature of my work (I am a manager in the innovation & strategy space) and because it’s been a habit of my career.  I would say several (5-10) times an hour.
Personal email on a typical day: Not as often because I only check it on my phone, maybe 3-5 times a day.

You unexpectedly find 15 minutes in your day, what do you do?
Pull out my e reader and hope that its charged so I can read!

When was the last time you felt burned out and why?
Over the Winter Break! It was the first time I had taken 2 weeks off since 2012.  We hosted several dinners, I cleaned the house 4 times, had to take care of the kids full time for a few days and had to make the Christmas magic (mom’s you know what I mean).  It was fun and exhausting.  Definitely glad to be back to our regular routine after a full and lively break.

When was the last time you felt you failed and who did you overcome it?
Motherhood is the most humbling journey and I fail every day (i.e.: maybe I lost my patience, I yelled, looked at my phone too much in front of my kids or didn’t play with them when they asked).  I don’t put myself down for every “failure” – I am human and a millennial mother in a digital age (we are the first generation of mothers/parents in this type of society)   I overcome it by talking about what happened (with my kids or husband) and lots of hugs.

Share a quote that you love and that gives you strength or peace?
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself // Leo Tolstoy

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Feel free to answer these questions in the comments below or on your own blogs or social medium of your choice!  

(Where did you find these questions?)


More like this?  Check out my year in review from 2018.