THEIR digital footprint

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I made the decision about 3 weeks ago to go back to one of my first decisions as a parent, that is to NOT post my children’s pictures online.

(What sparked this re-decision? My older child telling me that I couldn’t post her baby pictures online as part of a birthday post about her on Facebook. What had happened was I had shown her the draft post and she said she didn’t want me to share the baby pictures. And I did it anyway. But this is my chance at doing right).

I originally decided this back in 2013-2014 because I didn’t want their privacy to be taken away. If I did post a picture, it would be a creatively composed photo as to not show details of their face. It was a lot of fun (from a creative standpoint) but also it felt like the right thing to do i.e. protect them.

But I slowly released my grip on on this idea (particularly on my private/personal IG and Facebook accounts) because I mean everyone posts their kids pictures online without a second thought right? What harm could it really cause?

And that I realized… we don’t know what we don’t know! We don’t actually know what harm it could cause!

Firstly, what we do know is that social media is making our society less social, more concerned with things that aren’t any of our business and obsessed with vanity metrics (likes and followers). Which in turn is bringing up a myriad of mental health issues, feelings of isolation and a constent need to “keep up with the Joneses”.

With all that said, there are some real positives to social media. There is a sense of community, a great place to share and receive inspiration and the memes can really brighten your day :) but the long term use of social media is still unknown. I mean, we don’t really know what having all that content, pictures, opinions and thoughts online will be like for us in the future. What effect it will have on us? And how future tech will be able to utilize all that data.

Secondly I’m ALWAYS reviewing and questioning my OWN online footprint. I’m always wondering if I am over sharing or putting something out there that I wouldn’t say in real life. And part of the answer is yes, because it’s easier to talk to a screen then be social (I feel like that’s a modern day human condition but also because I’m an introvert).

But in my own case, at least I can make changes, evaluate my online sharing and adjust as needed. But for what I’ve shared of my kids? Well they don’t/didn’t really have a say nor did they get a chance to adjust because I’ve been posting about them and because they aren’t online yet.

There is a sense of guilt (welcome to motherhood) with my kids pictures being up for the last 2-4 years, and unfortunately those will probably be up forever.

And for that I’m truly sorry girls!

Part of being a parent is improving and being better. Parenting for me is a journey and requires a lot of mindfulness. And this is one of those opportunities. It’s a chance to realize my mistake and fix it.

Do you share your kids pictures/achievements/tantrums online? Have you ever thought about how it would effect them into adolescence and adulthood?

Book Review – What I know For Sure

Posted on September 16, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few weeks ago I finished the book “What I know For Sure” by Oprah. I really enjoyed reading it. It felt like I was reading the journal of an older sister or mentor. I felt like taking pictures of every paragraph or sentence of paragraph that gave me that “aha” feeling. I soon realized that I’d be taking more pictures than actually reading and appreciating the book.

I was never an Oprah fan. Well I wouldn’t say I am now either. I do watch the occasional Soul Circle video on Instagram and listen to an episode of her podcast here or there. I don’t think I would ever go to her live talks though (just because I am not the biggest fan of concerts and large audience events). But when a smart, successful, creative, mindful, ambitious, knows-what-she-wants-and-goes-after-it woman immortalizes her experiences and thoughts into a book – yep for sure I’ll be all over that.

The book is all the wisdom Oprah gained from when she was very young to her current age. Life lessons, inspiration, revelations and thoughtful trinkets. It’s the kind of book that I’d want to buy (yep I borrowed it from the library) and fold page corners, highlight and bookmark so much of this book because the advice is relatable and genuine.

Here are a few lines that I want to share:

On reading…

I now consider reading a good book a sacred indulgence. […] What I know for sure is that reading opens you up, exposes you and gives you access to anything your mind can hold. […] Reading gives you the ability to reach higher ground. And keep climbing.

On Resiliency…

The only way to endure the quake is to adjust your stance.

On Gratitude…

What you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.

On doing your life’s work…

I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.

Check out the other books I’ve ready in 2019!

Backyard Vegetable Garden 2019 Recap

Posted on September 9, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

It’s a very fruitful harvest summer in the #MaryaGarden this year.

It was my first year using a raise garden bed. The Mister and my Father in Law built it for me, upon my request last year. After my success last summer, I felt excited to go a little further. And this year’s victories felt really good.

Initially it was just 1 big rectangular box, but when I started planning my garden I realized that wouldn’t work. I asked the Mister to 2 add planks to create 3 sections to plant in, I ended up only using one. Reason being 1) I didn’t buy enough garden soil when I bought the plants and 2) the weather in late May / early June was still unpredictable (ie: some days were still dipping around 10 degrees Celsius). I decided to keep things small and more manageable for my first time with the larger space.

I ended up planning 3 tomato plants (slicer and small fruit: cherries and grape) as well as a zucchini and cucumber plant. I also used the large railing planter for herbs (cilantro, mojito mint and basil) We didn’t receive any veggie harvest until around some time after July 20th. Which was much later than 2018, when we got our first cherry tomatoes on July 10 (thanks Instagram!).

But since then, we’ve had a steady harvest of toms, cukes and zucks. The first two of which I’ve had no problem incorporating into our diets, Our go to salad is tomatoes, cucumber, cilantro and avocados. As for the zucchini, we took a few to the cottage which was used quickly. And for the remaining zucchinis, I’ve shredded and frozen them to be used for zucchini bread, muffins or veggie dippers.

The herbs were used on a daily basis. I would put them in salads or infused my water :)

Of course, with any of my endeavors, there is always goals set and lessons to be learned. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that good note talking and revision of my progress, really help my future success. And as the garden season winds down, it’s the perfect time to think about what worked, what I’d like to improve on and what I’d like to try next year!

Lessons Learned:

1) Plant cucumbers and zucchinis further apart and in their own box

1) Trim back tomatoes (the crop near the top) earlier on to allow the nutrients (water / sunshine) to feed the stronger growing fruits (near the bottom)

3) Tie plant stalk to the fence earlier in the season (to avoid the tomato jungle).

4) Build better trellises, this year I found that the dollar store trellis just couldn’t hold up a strong plant with large fruit. Will need to do more research on Pinterest for this one!

5) Add more flowers in between the veggies (lavenders and marigolds). Flowers attract the bees (obviously) and the bees help with the pollination of the vegetable plants (not so obvious)

Goal setting for next year:

1) Research the crop that we want to grow, research vertical gardens and garden bed layouts

2) Plan plan plan!! Create the garden plan on paper! Grouping types of plants together (herbs vs root or green veggies)

3) Mark my calendar for the tasks that support our garden (prep the soil, organize the garden beds, break up the soil, remove the weeds, buy organic seeds/plants, start seeds indoors and do the actual planting!)

4) Try something new: Garlic, Pumpkin, CBD, Hungarian wax peppers, carrots, lettuce (ok definitely not all of these, just putting some ideas down for next year)

5) Figure out how to get my cilantro to grow for longer (I think I end up planting them too late and because the temperature and combined humidity is unpredictable in July I only get maybe 4 weeks of cilantro)

6) Install more dividers earlier in the season if needed

7) Create a mini greenhouse / tent to support plants during older evenings

Do you have a backyard garden? If you could successfully grow any vegetable or fruit what would it be?

Fall back into Action!

Posted on September 3, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been see; depart, be lost, but climb” // Edna St. Vincent Millay

I love September! Fresh start, crisp mornings, new recipes, tall boots, beautiful fall photography :)

September has always felt like the start of a New Year of Learning. And although I no longer am in school or formal education, it’s important for me to remember that I should continue to grow and learn. I try to do this as often and as easily I can by: doing new things, reading books, listening to podcasts/Ted Talks or simply by changing my perspective to understand a topic more deeply. I often forget that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or confused some days. It’s on those days that I need to take a time to rest and recover but also not forget to keep my goal in mind and continue to scale that mountain.

I am taking this this upcoming month to fall back into action! I want to get back into good routines and stay focused. I put together this checklist to keep me motivated and ahead of my goals as we move into the colder months!

Going to weddings with our kiddos

Posted on July 4, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

The last 2 weekends were spent busy with weddings. It’s definitely a different season of life we are in, as we are attending weddings as parents of two children.

Nowadays, we always come prepared with snacks and dinner (as food is usually not served at kid friendly times). We usually need to bring a stroller. Most of the rules we have at home go out the window for the night (i.e.: sure have some more cranberry juice, no veggies on your plate no problem!) Sitting on the floor to watch the bhangra performance is a rite of passage for a child at Indian weddings.

If you think taking kids to a wedding is a chore – you are right because you can’t really enjoy the wedding. Well that’s not entirely true sometimes you have friends and family who help out but usually it means you are leaving no later than 11:15pm. But taking your kids to a wedding (if it’s been approved by the bride and groom of course, usually Indian weddings are) is a perfect opportunity to practice teaching your kids respectful behaviour (i.e.: to be silent during the speeches or sitting still for a little longer than normal).

I personally know this time is FLEETING. There will come the day when my kids will say “nah we don’t want to come!!” :roll:

So I’ll enjoy taking them along while they don’t know they have a choice ;-)

Book Review – Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

Posted on June 30, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

This book was over hyped for me (thanks to the internet/social media/online influencers) and unfortunately I was not impressed.
There are some important thoughts and gems of advice but overall the book “shipped too early” 😆

It needs to have an edition review and some parts can be removed. Seth Godin knows that this book may not be well received and or believable to some readers and tells us at the start that those who have had enough should skip to chapter 10.

But for the sake of finding the learning from every experience, I will share the points/topics that really resonated with me:

“Do not internalize the industrial models. You are not of the myriad interchangeable pieces, but a unique human being, and if you’ve got something to say, say it and think well of yourself while you’re learning to say it better” – D. Mamet

To me this essentially means you need to find a new path for your career journey. The standard career path of the past will no longer work. Furthermore, everyone should bring their real self to their work and to their career. I tend to agree with that. You will feel more empowered and your career with align with your purpose when you are more true to yourself and those around you.

Combination of engaged employees, cutting edge products and fun brings people (customers) back

I think this quote is pretty powerful – especially as I can only count on one hand corporations who operate like this.

Win by being faster, more remarkable and more human.

It’s hard to be faster, remarkable and more human when you are surrounded by red tape, bureaucracy and hierarchy. But I can see this being useful and motivational for start ups and entrepreneurs.

TGIF workers are PERL workers

Although this idea was brought up with respect to the typical factory worker, the percentage of easily replaceable labourers (PERL) are the type of people who live for Fridays. If you take pride in your work and even more so are willing to work on your passion projects during your free time – you don’t fall into this group. It’s the people who live for Fridays as an escape from their work life that have the to make a change.

Other people have survived th corporate school system, survived their fist job, have survived a mother in law telling them what to do — and have done the challenging work to become indispensable

Best advice! Everyone survives. And so can you (and me!). We can move up and onward. We can push through our current situation or get out – either way we are successful. Most important thing to remember – you always have a choice.

Job where you do more than follow instructions – not something they taught you in school. Job where you take intellectual risks, prepare to be promoted

The world of work is really changing. And not just the actual job part but the types of work you do, the hours you work and the type of employees / cohorts. If climbing the ladder is your end game – this is good advice.

Except the genius label

We are all genuses! This book is really about getting rid of the conspiracy of previous generations: That you need to JUST PUT IN THE TIME at a job. That your CREATIVITY DOES MATTER.

The new american dream: Be remarkable, be generous, create art, make judgement calls, connect people and idea

The problem lies with the system that punishes artists and rewards bureaucrats

Geniuses make art. They make judgement calls. Connect people/ideas. Find a new way of getting things done. Work is a chance to art.

Whether its your 9-5, your entrepreneurial pursuits, a creative passion or your career journey – think of your work as a way to do and make art.

Poverty Mentality: If I give you something, it costs me what I gave you. The more you have the less I have. The more I share the more I lose.

I absolutely LOVE the though process behind what is known as the OPPOSITE of the poverty mentality aka the ABUNDANCE mindset. I think I lived most of my life in the poverty mindset and it is the most debilitating mindset ever. As soon as you thing with abundance, you are set free.

Great bosses and world class organizations hire motivated people, set high expectations and give their people room to become remarkable.

If you’ve ever had a bad boss or left a company because of a bad boss – this statement must ring true for you.

Ishita’s Meditation

Google it! – it’s always a choice!

What do you do when your art doesn’t work – make more art. If you give up and become a cog you are failing.

This statement pretty much sums up the entire book.

Check out the other books I’ve read in 2019!