Lolo’s 2nd birthday

Posted on May 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Holy shIt this is a long post! I wanted share some photos of E’s birthday celebrations and I didn’t know exactly what to write. And then the words just started flying off from my fingers to the key board to the screen. I decided to publish this for my memories and for Miss E if she ever wants to know how she entered the world…!

I still remember the days leading up to Lolo’s birth 2 years ago. It all started on the Friday before she was born, March 3 2017. Our current family of 3 had gone out to dinner and started to walk around the mall letting Miss S ride the coin rides, a typical family date night tradition for us that we had become accustom to for about a year at that point.

As we were walking around the mall, I started getting intense pains – which I honestly though were gas. Gas that was coming and going. Thinking back on it, the pain was pretty intense in that I had to stop walking and just hold a chair, wall, pillar – really anything for support. I know now they were contractions, but they weren’t consistent and went away later on that night.

The next day I also had the contraction pains on and off, but again by the evening when we headed to my in laws for dinner, all the pain had disappeared. I figured I was going to go into labour soon, I just thought I was a 3-5 days away. I was really banking on being able to take my vacation starting Wednesday of that coming work week, but I really should have taken a clue from when I was pregnant with Miss S – these girls won’t let me take a vacation 😜

Sunday March 5 2017, around 10:30am, contractions started again and quickly became very regular. I was focused on my breathing telling Miss S that I was doing “yoga breathing”. And she knew something else was going on. I’ll always remember to this day what she said to me: “mummy, you are doing yoga breathing because my baby sister is coming soon”.

We put down Miss S for her nap and Mister A started tracking the contractions on an app. They were getting closer but because I had 2 days of disappearing contractions I figured I should take a shower to calm down. Before getting in the shower, we called my parents to let them know the status. I continue to have contractions in the shower and it was then I realized this might be the real deal. I got out of the shower got dressed, called my parents, got emotional, they said they were on their way, so I did my make up and Mister A loaded up the car. By the time my parents arrived I was in full on labour but doing a good job of breathing through the pain. My dad said that if the baby was coming to just pull over and call 911 as they could deliver the baby on the side of the road. 😬

We started to pull out of our neighbourhood only to realize I had forgotten my purse…! So we turned around to grab it. The next 27 minutes were a blur but completely reminiscent of a movie scene of the husband trying to speed to the hospital with his labouring wife screaming at him to drive faster.

We arrived at the hospital around 3:35pm. On the walk up to labour & delivery triage I had 2 contractions and was even offered a wheel chair by a nurse who was returning to her shift. I declined and continued having contractions but waddled and breathed my way through them. As soon as I got to the desk I told them I wanted a female doctor with slender fingers. They asked if it as my first and I said no, and everyone went into serious mode: “She’s 38-5, multips, we need to get her checked”. I got checked and I was 7cm (way further along than I was expecting). I told the nurse I had to use the washroom, and she warned me not to push 😟

I remember them clearly saying “she’s multips, mother is multips, multips wants an epidural, multips x min apart”. I finally asked what “multips” was, the nurse told me that mothers of multiple (multips = multiple) children usually go through the last phase of labour pretty fast – so they wanted to act quickly. Within 20 min of being admitted I was in a labour room and they had called for the anesthesiologist. I was 8cm when I got the epidural and I was glad to finally have had it. It was around 4:30pm when I finally was able to just lay back. But not for long…! The nurse was in and out checking the monitors, fixing the catheter, adjusting my position. Mister A had to make all the calls, take pictures, call the nurse when I had questions. Around 5:50, I was checked again and it was time to push. I pushed maybe 4-5 times and the doctor told me to stop. Turns out the cord was wrapped around her neck twice hence why the nurse had to keep checking the monitors and adjusting me.

Miss E was born at 6:12pm on Sunday March 5 2017. She cried non stop until about 8:30pm. Mister A asked I could put her back 😬

All sarcasm aside, she is our cuddle bug and she completes our family. She has the most mischievous yet contagious smile, she loves broccoli and running after sister. She’s very stubborn and head strong because she knows what she wants. She reminds me every day that kids are not obligated to their parents. She and her sister always show me that they belong to this earth and we can only guide them to be strong, independent and good people.

Our minds believe what we tell it

Posted on April 16, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I’ve always been interested in how the brain works and how we can train our minds to accomplish our goals. Lately I’ve been more in tune with information specifically around learning and focusing.

I was listening to a podcast recently where I heard Jim Kwik made 2 really interesting points. He called our minds a (1) super computer and (2) that our minds are always eavesdropping on our self talk. I made an immediate connection: our minds will believe what it hears us saying to ourselves. Our self talk can be hugely centered around what our current focus is on. Whether it be school test, huge assignment at work, a negative situation or a happy moment – our mind will be listening.

I think it’s extreamly important to train our minds to think positively. I’ve always been a realest, so changing my mindset to be more positive has been a challenge. But one way to practice positive thinking is by creating a vision board. I’ve made a few over the past several years and I’ve found that it always sets me up for success. Maybe it’s subconscious or maybe it’s about how attention and energy compliment each other, but a quick google search will show you how many other people have used vision boards to bring focus to their life. Vision boards can help with goal setting by:

giving you a chance to be really intentional about what you want (your goals)
allowing you to organize your thoughts about your goals
giving you a visual reminder of your goals/dreams
creating an emotional connection to your goals

I decided to introduce Miss S to the process and journey of the vision board. I actually called it a dream board with her and I explained to her what it was and what it’s used for. She was happy to use glue, scissors and sparkle paint but surprisingly was also engaged in trying to think of the things she wanted try, learn, have or do.

The night before the exercise we discussed stuff she might want to do or see in the summer and in SK. So I got an idea of what types of images to print. I also printed some extra stuff that she didn’t mention to see if she would gravitate to those images. What was interesting was that she picked up things we hadn’t discussed and also told me she didn’t want to use images of things she mentioned in our conversation.

And now that she has her dream board hanging on her wall it’s a constant source of inspiration and a conversation trigger at bed time. Best part of doing this exercise with her? Was it actually pushed me to complete my own vision board!

Book Review – Ishmeal

Posted on April 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I recently finished reading Ishmeal. Which is actually an accomplishment because I started it January 2018. But I stopped reading it, just around the time I ended my mat leave.

I was recently listening to a podcast where the guest was talking about how to read more books and he said that its totally okay to “quit so you can start”.

I couldn’t have agreed more. I’ve stopped many books. I mean for me, reading as an adult… is not school, I am not going to be judged if I didn’t finish a book, there is no essay requirement and definitely no quiz. I always give a book the benefit of the doubt and try to read 25 pages or so. But, if the book hasn’t peaked my interest I’ll stop and move on to another book. The best thing about choosing to stop reading a book is that it’s not final. You can always begin reading that book again. Which is exactly what I did here.

This book essentially is about how the earth is being destroyed by humans. So the premise of this book really appeals to me. It was written in the early 90s and the entire story (well 95%) of it takes place as a conversation between a gorilla and a human.

The conversations take the reader through different times of history from Adam/Eve (i.e. “the beginning”) era through to the 90s. The reader is meant to understand why humans believe the earth was made for them, that they are above the law of community and how they have not figured out a way to live in harmony with other creatures on earth. The author describes several cultural myths and biases that seem to give humans the “excuses” to rule over the earth and continue agricultural domination.

The book tip toes around primitivism and other extreme view points to help save the earth and allow humans to live in community with other species on earth. The book has a good message to humanity, I just couldn’t get behind the some-what-extreme solution provided.

A few of the important points I will take with me after reading this book:

humans belong to the world (not the other way around)
if your know something important share it with 100 people if they feel the message is also important they should share it with 100 people (and so on and so forth)
history should be re-examined so we can continually learn from our past

Check out the other books I’ve ready in 2019!

Warmer Weather Wish List 2019

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

We are officially in the dog days of winter! There isn’t any more expected snow fall but the temps are still pretty chilly. The grey and brown snow banks are slowly melting away and there is more sunlight in the early evenings. Like most Canadians, we are ready to pack away the cold weather gear and usher in the fresh Spring air.

Along with thinking about all the fun things to do as the weather warms up (honestly the simple things like opening the windows in the house 😂), I do get excited about shopping my closet to re-aquaint myself with all of my warm weather outfits.

But I thought I’d put this quick wish list together in an attempt to ignore the still quite frigid temperatures!

Lunch at Restoration Hardware

Posted on March 3, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You know you are a parent of young children when you feel the best way to describe a delicious child free meal is by quoting Julia, Child. 😂😂

We don’t often do this. Fancy restaurants are just not in the docket with spilt milk and sticky fingers. But we are finding that as the girls are growing we have more opportunities to make time for just the 2 of us.

With that said, we finally checked out Restoration Hardware Cafe. I’ve heard soooo many good things about this restaurant. About how beautiful it is, about the chandeliers, the trees and the furnishings.

At the cafe, we started with their fries and garlic aioli. Ya I know basic, but so delicious. The fries weren’t too thick and were the perfect combination of crispy and fluffy. I enjoyed the fries with a refreshing glass of Pinot Grigio. As I was choosing my main, the Simple Prep Fish (which was a marinate of EVOO, dill and lemon), the server suggested I go with the Gem Salad as pair. All of my favourite ingredients put together in a meal – yes I will!

The filet of fish was thin and so the flavors were evenly distributed. I asked for my salad dressing on the side and thankfully so because it was the perfect accent to the fish. The mister got the RH burger which was a double pattie – which he said was also good.

We did stroll around the store before and after lunch. In my humble opinion, the pieces are more suited for a mansion than a small suburban home. Thankfully the cafe doesn’t give off that vibe at all]. And for me the food was way more delightful.

(Tip from a local: if you are going to the restaurant, get there early. They do not take reservations and the wait time can be anywhere from 10-60 min)

The grass is greener where you water it

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I recently wrote an article for an Employee Resource Group that I am part of. The topic I was given was the “Science behind happiness”. Although I was given this topic to write about, I became fascinated by the research behind happiness. Everything I read and presented in this article aligns with my thoughts so I figured I’d share my piece here too!

Did you know there is scientific research behind being happy? Believe it or not, happiness is not just reserved for the few lucky ones amongst us. Rather, every one of us can control our own happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky renowned social psychologist and Ph.D. from Stanford has found that although 50% of our happiness is rooted in our genetics, the remaining combination is 10% our circumstances and 40% of our intentional activities.

So what exactly does that mean? Even though the science states that 50% of our happiness is due to our genetics, it’s actually an indirect relation, meaning there is always room for improvement – we can influence our genetic happiness by our experience and behaviour. More importantly, the other 50% of our happiness is essentially controlled by being aware of our circumstance and intentional about our thoughts, outlook and actions. Everyone has a choice and we can easily choose to be happy.

Why is this important? Being happy increases self-regulatory and coping abilities. Some scientists say that it can strengthen your immune system, make you more energetic and even allow you to enjoy a longer life. Plus, being happy is contagious! If you are happy and around happy people – the happiness keeps growing!

How can one practice cultivating happiness? Many of us may look to our careers, partners, family/children or other external forces to influence our happiness. What we need to remember is that happiness isn’t something we find, it’s something we create and practice daily. The research shows that activities we initiate from ourselves such as maintaining our fitness levels, counting one’s blessings and pursing personal goals are the key to happiness. Here are some other ways to cultivate happiness in your life:

– Practice acts of kindness (volunteering or charity work)

– Practice daily gratitude

– Avoid social comparisons

– Pursue a hobby

– Nurture relationships

– Focus on spirituality or a religious practices that speak to you

– Avoid over consumption on Social Media

– Taking care of your body and mind (being physically active, practicing self-care, meditating)