Our minds believe what we tell it

Posted on April 16, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I’ve always been interested in how the brain works and how we can train our minds to accomplish our goals. Lately I’ve been more in tune with information specifically around learning and focusing.

I was listening to a podcast recently where I heard Jim Kwik made 2 really interesting points. He called our minds a (1) super computer and (2) that our minds are always eavesdropping on our self talk. I made an immediate connection: our minds will believe what it hears us saying to ourselves. Our self talk can be hugely centered around what our current focus is on. Whether it be school test, huge assignment at work, a negative situation or a happy moment – our mind will be listening.

I think it’s extreamly important to train our minds to think positively. I’ve always been a realest, so changing my mindset to be more positive has been a challenge. But one way to practice positive thinking is by creating a vision board. I’ve made a few over the past several years and I’ve found that it always sets me up for success. Maybe it’s subconscious or maybe it’s about how attention and energy compliment each other, but a quick google search will show you how many other people have used vision boards to bring focus to their life. Vision boards can help with goal setting by:

giving you a chance to be really intentional about what you want (your goals)
allowing you to organize your thoughts about your goals
giving you a visual reminder of your goals/dreams
creating an emotional connection to your goals

I decided to introduce Miss S to the process and journey of the vision board. I actually called it a dream board with her and I explained to her what it was and what it’s used for. She was happy to use glue, scissors and sparkle paint but surprisingly was also engaged in trying to think of the things she wanted try, learn, have or do.

The night before the exercise we discussed stuff she might want to do or see in the summer and in SK. So I got an idea of what types of images to print. I also printed some extra stuff that she didn’t mention to see if she would gravitate to those images. What was interesting was that she picked up things we hadn’t discussed and also told me she didn’t want to use images of things she mentioned in our conversation.

And now that she has her dream board hanging on her wall it’s a constant source of inspiration and a conversation trigger at bed time. Best part of doing this exercise with her? Was it actually pushed me to complete my own vision board!

Book Review – Ishmeal

Posted on April 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I recently finished reading Ishmeal. Which is actually an accomplishment because I started it January 2018. But I stopped reading it, just around the time I ended my mat leave.

I was recently listening to a podcast where the guest was talking about how to read more books and he said that its totally okay to “quit so you can start”.

I couldn’t have agreed more. I’ve stopped many books. I mean for me, reading as an adult… is not school, I am not going to be judged if I didn’t finish a book, there is no essay requirement and definitely no quiz. I always give a book the benefit of the doubt and try to read 25 pages or so. But, if the book hasn’t peaked my interest I’ll stop and move on to another book. The best thing about choosing to stop reading a book is that it’s not final. You can always begin reading that book again. Which is exactly what I did here.

This book essentially is about how the earth is being destroyed by humans. So the premise of this book really appeals to me. It was written in the early 90s and the entire story (well 95%) of it takes place as a conversation between a gorilla and a human.

The conversations take the reader through different times of history from Adam/Eve (i.e. “the beginning”) era through to the 90s. The reader is meant to understand why humans believe the earth was made for them, that they are above the law of community and how they have not figured out a way to live in harmony with other creatures on earth. The author describes several cultural myths and biases that seem to give humans the “excuses” to rule over the earth and continue agricultural domination.

The book tip toes around primitivism and other extreme view points to help save the earth and allow humans to live in community with other species on earth. The book has a good message to humanity, I just couldn’t get behind the some-what-extreme solution provided.

A few of the important points I will take with me after reading this book:

humans belong to the world (not the other way around)
if your know something important share it with 100 people if they feel the message is also important they should share it with 100 people (and so on and so forth)
history should be re-examined so we can continually learn from our past

Check out the other books I’ve ready in 2019!

Warmer Weather Wish List 2019

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

We are officially in the dog days of winter! There isn’t any more expected snow fall but the temps are still pretty chilly. The grey and brown snow banks are slowly melting away and there is more sunlight in the early evenings. Like most Canadians, we are ready to pack away the cold weather gear and usher in the fresh Spring air.

Along with thinking about all the fun things to do as the weather warms up (honestly the simple things like opening the windows in the house 😂), I do get excited about shopping my closet to re-aquaint myself with all of my warm weather outfits.

But I thought I’d put this quick wish list together in an attempt to ignore the still quite frigid temperatures!

Lunch at Restoration Hardware

Posted on March 3, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

You know you are a parent of young children when you feel the best way to describe a delicious child free meal is by quoting Julia, Child. 😂😂

We don’t often do this. Fancy restaurants are just not in the docket with spilt milk and sticky fingers. But we are finding that as the girls are growing we have more opportunities to make time for just the 2 of us.

With that said, we finally checked out Restoration Hardware Cafe. I’ve heard soooo many good things about this restaurant. About how beautiful it is, about the chandeliers, the trees and the furnishings.

At the cafe, we started with their fries and garlic aioli. Ya I know basic, but so delicious. The fries weren’t too thick and were the perfect combination of crispy and fluffy. I enjoyed the fries with a refreshing glass of Pinot Grigio. As I was choosing my main, the Simple Prep Fish (which was a marinate of EVOO, dill and lemon), the server suggested I go with the Gem Salad as pair. All of my favourite ingredients put together in a meal – yes I will!

The filet of fish was thin and so the flavors were evenly distributed. I asked for my salad dressing on the side and thankfully so because it was the perfect accent to the fish. The mister got the RH burger which was a double pattie – which he said was also good.

We did stroll around the store before and after lunch. In my humble opinion, the pieces are more suited for a mansion than a small suburban home. Thankfully the cafe doesn’t give off that vibe at all]. And for me the food was way more delightful.

(Tip from a local: if you are going to the restaurant, get there early. They do not take reservations and the wait time can be anywhere from 10-60 min)

The grass is greener where you water it

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I recently wrote an article for an Employee Resource Group that I am part of. The topic I was given was the “Science behind happiness”. Although I was given this topic to write about, I became fascinated by the research behind happiness. Everything I read and presented in this article aligns with my thoughts so I figured I’d share my piece here too!

Did you know there is scientific research behind being happy? Believe it or not, happiness is not just reserved for the few lucky ones amongst us. Rather, every one of us can control our own happiness. Sonja Lyubomirsky renowned social psychologist and Ph.D. from Stanford has found that although 50% of our happiness is rooted in our genetics, the remaining combination is 10% our circumstances and 40% of our intentional activities.

So what exactly does that mean? Even though the science states that 50% of our happiness is due to our genetics, it’s actually an indirect relation, meaning there is always room for improvement – we can influence our genetic happiness by our experience and behaviour. More importantly, the other 50% of our happiness is essentially controlled by being aware of our circumstance and intentional about our thoughts, outlook and actions. Everyone has a choice and we can easily choose to be happy.

Why is this important? Being happy increases self-regulatory and coping abilities. Some scientists say that it can strengthen your immune system, make you more energetic and even allow you to enjoy a longer life. Plus, being happy is contagious! If you are happy and around happy people – the happiness keeps growing!

How can one practice cultivating happiness? Many of us may look to our careers, partners, family/children or other external forces to influence our happiness. What we need to remember is that happiness isn’t something we find, it’s something we create and practice daily. The research shows that activities we initiate from ourselves such as maintaining our fitness levels, counting one’s blessings and pursing personal goals are the key to happiness. Here are some other ways to cultivate happiness in your life:

– Practice acts of kindness (volunteering or charity work)

– Practice daily gratitude

– Avoid social comparisons

– Pursue a hobby

– Nurture relationships

– Focus on spirituality or a religious practices that speak to you

– Avoid over consumption on Social Media

– Taking care of your body and mind (being physically active, practicing self-care, meditating)

Book Review – The Sun and her Flowers

Posted on January 26, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

My goal for this year is to read 10-12 books. I personally think it’s a little audacious for my current season of life. Mainly because I don’t have dedicated reading times and when I do read it’s very short spurts. On the train to work, while the kids are having a snack, in the car, while the kids are watching TV etc. It’s always interrupted and I’m not one of those people who can zip through a book in a few sittings.

Modern day poetry is all the rage these days! And after reading Cleo Wade’s book “Heart Talk” (which was an amazing book!) I was curious to read more poetry. I picked up “The Sun and her Flowers” by Rupi Kaur, solely based on the colour of the cover book. It’s bright and optimistic (as opposed to her 1st book, a dark and moody cover – which I subsequently never read!)

It’s a magical arrangement of words, emotions and intense story telling. This book of poetry is soulful, descriptive and relatable (being a 1st generation Indo-Canadian). I was more drawn to the poems in “rising” and “blooming”. Something I wasn’t expecting was the rawness of the poems in “wilting” and “falling”.

I feel like modern day poetry although still is emotional and heart wrenching like it’s traditional predecessors, is more about healing and self guiding. And that self-help aspect is not just for the writer but the reader as well.

Check out the other books I’ve ready in 2019!