Book Review – Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

Posted on June 30, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

This book was over hyped for me (thanks to the internet/social media/online influencers) and unfortunately I was not impressed.
There are some important thoughts and gems of advice but overall the book “shipped too early” 😆

It needs to have an edition review and some parts can be removed. Seth Godin knows that this book may not be well received and or believable to some readers and tells us at the start that those who have had enough should skip to chapter 10.

But for the sake of finding the learning from every experience, I will share the points/topics that really resonated with me:

“Do not internalize the industrial models. You are not of the myriad interchangeable pieces, but a unique human being, and if you’ve got something to say, say it and think well of yourself while you’re learning to say it better” – D. Mamet

To me this essentially means you need to find a new path for your career journey. The standard career path of the past will no longer work. Furthermore, everyone should bring their real self to their work and to their career. I tend to agree with that. You will feel more empowered and your career with align with your purpose when you are more true to yourself and those around you.

Combination of engaged employees, cutting edge products and fun brings people (customers) back

I think this quote is pretty powerful – especially as I can only count on one hand corporations who operate like this.

Win by being faster, more remarkable and more human.

It’s hard to be faster, remarkable and more human when you are surrounded by red tape, bureaucracy and hierarchy. But I can see this being useful and motivational for start ups and entrepreneurs.

TGIF workers are PERL workers

Although this idea was brought up with respect to the typical factory worker, the percentage of easily replaceable labourers (PERL) are the type of people who live for Fridays. If you take pride in your work and even more so are willing to work on your passion projects during your free time – you don’t fall into this group. It’s the people who live for Fridays as an escape from their work life that have the to make a change.

Other people have survived th corporate school system, survived their fist job, have survived a mother in law telling them what to do — and have done the challenging work to become indispensable

Best advice! Everyone survives. And so can you (and me!). We can move up and onward. We can push through our current situation or get out – either way we are successful. Most important thing to remember – you always have a choice.

Job where you do more than follow instructions – not something they taught you in school. Job where you take intellectual risks, prepare to be promoted

The world of work is really changing. And not just the actual job part but the types of work you do, the hours you work and the type of employees / cohorts. If climbing the ladder is your end game – this is good advice.

Except the genius label

We are all genuses! This book is really about getting rid of the conspiracy of previous generations: That you need to JUST PUT IN THE TIME at a job. That your CREATIVITY DOES MATTER.

The new american dream: Be remarkable, be generous, create art, make judgement calls, connect people and idea

The problem lies with the system that punishes artists and rewards bureaucrats

Geniuses make art. They make judgement calls. Connect people/ideas. Find a new way of getting things done. Work is a chance to art.

Whether its your 9-5, your entrepreneurial pursuits, a creative passion or your career journey – think of your work as a way to do and make art.

Poverty Mentality: If I give you something, it costs me what I gave you. The more you have the less I have. The more I share the more I lose.

I absolutely LOVE the though process behind what is known as the OPPOSITE of the poverty mentality aka the ABUNDANCE mindset. I think I lived most of my life in the poverty mindset and it is the most debilitating mindset ever. As soon as you thing with abundance, you are set free.

Great bosses and world class organizations hire motivated people, set high expectations and give their people room to become remarkable.

If you’ve ever had a bad boss or left a company because of a bad boss – this statement must ring true for you.

Ishita’s Meditation

Google it! – it’s always a choice!

What do you do when your art doesn’t work – make more art. If you give up and become a cog you are failing.

This statement pretty much sums up the entire book.

Check out the other books I’ve read in 2019!

What’s in my cart – Books Edition

Posted on May 26, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

I normally read books on my e-reader or borrow books from the library. But I do this so that I only buy books that really touch me and inspire me so much so, that I NEED to have them in my house at close proximity at any time. I don’t like busy shelves with books collecting dust so I am very selective with my books!

I’ve ready 4.5 of the books above. One that has sparked my interest and there other I read during undergrad (required reading) that I just want to read again.

How I embrace holidays in a comparison society

Posted on May 8, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom in today’s world is hard. Mom’s are working 24/7. Some are being moms while possibly handling a business, others are working 7-10 hrs outside of the home and then coming home to do the most important work of all – being a mom! We are pushed and pulled in a million different directions, sometimes out of our own decisions and often because we are needed (or think we are needed). We put everyone else’s needs before our own, we are nurturers by nature, we cater to everyone, we feel like our homes need to be clean all the time, we eat left overs from our kids plates and drink cold coffee or tea. We no longer have the same level of community that mothers of previous generations relied on. And I don’t know if an online community of moms is the same thing? I mean can you call them over in a pinch to watch your kid? I am sure that mom’s have been judged for centuries, but it feels that we need to raise our children and break glass ceilings all at the same time.

And if all that wasn’t enough, we are dealing with a level of social comparison that is so intense it’s creating anxiety and unnecessary stress around holidays and special occasions.

Around valentines I read an Instagram post by a mom who didn’t feel compelled to send heart shaped sandwiches in her kids lunch, she didn’t bother getting valentines for her kid’s classmates or dressing her kids in red or pink. She made the point because her feed was filled with other moms who were doing all the “things” to make the holiday “special” for kids. She didn’t feel like doing any of it and wondered if she was the only one feeling inadequate.

I totally get it. I completely agree that making magic is a tiresome task. It’s yet another thing we need to add to our to do lists.

That said, I want to still do it.

I still want to put in the energy. I still want to be present for those silly hallmark moments or cheesy opportunities to add a smile to my kid’s day. I still want to make magic for them during the holidays. Because that magic isn’t JUST for them, it isn’t for sharing on social media, it’s for me and my memories too.

The problem here is the social media aspect of it. When you are doing something for external validation, its never going to feel right. So in the end you have to do what you feel is going to work for you, even if your friends are doing something different or when someone you admire isn’t on the same page as you. It’s about being true to yourself and not about putting yourself out there to be judged by strangers on the internet 😚

Lolo’s 2nd birthday

Posted on May 1, 2019 by Bhanu Misra Marya

Holy shIt this is a long post! I wanted share some photos of E’s birthday celebrations and I didn’t know exactly what to write. And then the words just started flying off from my fingers to the key board to the screen. I decided to publish this for my memories and for Miss E if she ever wants to know how she entered the world…!

I still remember the days leading up to Lolo’s birth 2 years ago. It all started on the Friday before she was born, March 3 2017. Our current family of 3 had gone out to dinner and started to walk around the mall letting Miss S ride the coin rides, a typical family date night tradition for us that we had become accustom to for about a year at that point.

As we were walking around the mall, I started getting intense pains – which I honestly though were gas. Gas that was coming and going. Thinking back on it, the pain was pretty intense in that I had to stop walking and just hold a chair, wall, pillar – really anything for support. I know now they were contractions, but they weren’t consistent and went away later on that night.

The next day I also had the contraction pains on and off, but again by the evening when we headed to my in laws for dinner, all the pain had disappeared. I figured I was going to go into labour soon, I just thought I was a 3-5 days away. I was really banking on being able to take my vacation starting Wednesday of that coming work week, but I really should have taken a clue from when I was pregnant with Miss S – these girls won’t let me take a vacation 😜

Sunday March 5 2017, around 10:30am, contractions started again and quickly became very regular. I was focused on my breathing telling Miss S that I was doing “yoga breathing”. And she knew something else was going on. I’ll always remember to this day what she said to me: “mummy, you are doing yoga breathing because my baby sister is coming soon”.

We put down Miss S for her nap and Mister A started tracking the contractions on an app. They were getting closer but because I had 2 days of disappearing contractions I figured I should take a shower to calm down. Before getting in the shower, we called my parents to let them know the status. I continue to have contractions in the shower and it was then I realized this might be the real deal. I got out of the shower got dressed, called my parents, got emotional, they said they were on their way, so I did my make up and Mister A loaded up the car. By the time my parents arrived I was in full on labour but doing a good job of breathing through the pain. My dad said that if the baby was coming to just pull over and call 911 as they could deliver the baby on the side of the road. 😬

We started to pull out of our neighbourhood only to realize I had forgotten my purse…! So we turned around to grab it. The next 27 minutes were a blur but completely reminiscent of a movie scene of the husband trying to speed to the hospital with his labouring wife screaming at him to drive faster.

We arrived at the hospital around 3:35pm. On the walk up to labour & delivery triage I had 2 contractions and was even offered a wheel chair by a nurse who was returning to her shift. I declined and continued having contractions but waddled and breathed my way through them. As soon as I got to the desk I told them I wanted a female doctor with slender fingers. They asked if it as my first and I said no, and everyone went into serious mode: “She’s 38-5, multips, we need to get her checked”. I got checked and I was 7cm (way further along than I was expecting). I told the nurse I had to use the washroom, and she warned me not to push 😟

I remember them clearly saying “she’s multips, mother is multips, multips wants an epidural, multips x min apart”. I finally asked what “multips” was, the nurse told me that mothers of multiple (multips = multiple) children usually go through the last phase of labour pretty fast – so they wanted to act quickly. Within 20 min of being admitted I was in a labour room and they had called for the anesthesiologist. I was 8cm when I got the epidural and I was glad to finally have had it. It was around 4:30pm when I finally was able to just lay back. But not for long…! The nurse was in and out checking the monitors, fixing the catheter, adjusting my position. Mister A had to make all the calls, take pictures, call the nurse when I had questions. Around 5:50, I was checked again and it was time to push. I pushed maybe 4-5 times and the doctor told me to stop. Turns out the cord was wrapped around her neck twice hence why the nurse had to keep checking the monitors and adjusting me.

Miss E was born at 6:12pm on Sunday March 5 2017. She cried non stop until about 8:30pm. Mister A asked I could put her back 😬

All sarcasm aside, she is our cuddle bug and she completes our family. She has the most mischievous yet contagious smile, she loves broccoli and running after sister. She’s very stubborn and head strong because she knows what she wants. She reminds me every day that kids are not obligated to their parents. She and her sister always show me that they belong to this earth and we can only guide them to be strong, independent and good people.

Day in the Life Photography Session – Reviews + Photos!

Posted on November 11, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

All photos by Ashley Eve Photography.

This post is way over due! To put some context behind the statement. We had this session in July, I booked the session in January and I actually started following Ashley in November of the previous year 😃

Screen Shot 2018-08-11 at 9.53.03 PM

Ashley is the photographer behind Ashley Eve Photography. One of the most easiest going photographers I’ve ever worked with. She’s passionate about her photography style which is about capturing families in their natural state: brushing teeth, kids in time outs, bubble play in the backyard, eating lunch. She calls it “Day in the Life” photography and I call it brilliant!

What I really liked about Ashley is that she’s doing something different. Her photography is showing a very personal side of a family. It’s raw and authentic. At the same time it’s beautiful, intricate and dynamic.

Disrupting an industry isn’t only about Technology, Automation and AI. It’s about having an improved customer-centric approach to old business standards.

Ashley is very responsive by email, her business organization is impeccable, and the fact that she does everything (client brochures, contracts, pricing packages) via an E-commerce CRM tool excited the software engineer and BA side of me!

And to top it all off, she is very flexible and accommodating. She offers a pre-session video call (through all available mobile systems) and will come to photograph wherever you and are family are most comfortable.

My Weekend in Seattle

Posted on October 15, 2018 by Bhanu Misra Marya

A few Thursdays ago I left my babies for the FIRST time ever and flew to Seattle to visit my best friend from University. We became best friends during our undergrad and roommates during our undergrad. And after we graduated, we both grew up in separate ways (I stayed course with my career in the GTA and she pursued med school and competitive speciality in her field in the US).

Considering our lives took two separate directions we worked really hard in maintaining our friendship. Now that doesn’t mean we talk everyday or even regularly on the phone. But it does mean putting in the effort to communicate and meet up when we can.

I flew in late into Seattle and arrived just after 10pm but our plane was stranded on the tarmac as there were no available gates. They finally got a mobile ramp and bus out to us so we could get into the airport. I was exhausted by the time I got to my friends house and we went to bed as soon as we could. Because I was still on Toronto time we were up by 6am (9am Seattle time). We did a ton of sight seeing, eating, drinking cocktails, walking and of course chatting. I was back on the 7am flight out of Seattle so I could be back in toronto at a reasonable time to see the girls but also get ready for the work week.

Honestly speaking, I was worried I wouldn’t have the energy to go and really be present (like could I rally after so many years!) but I guess anything is possible (like a late night fiesta) after a mid day siesta :) and an understanding friend.

We started the weekend off by getting the best view of the city skyline at Kerry Park. After we got tons of photos we followed that up with brunch and extra large mimosas at Toulouse Petit. I had the truffle and asparagus omelette – sooo good!

We then went out to Freeway park, a secret concrete waterfall hidden among the highway systems that go through the downtown core. I loved all the lines and geometry of the structures.

We then checked out another hidden waterfall closer to the downtown core. After a quick game of connect 4 in Pioneer Square, we walked to a General Porpoise, a popular donut and cafe shop in Capitol Hill. After a quick pitstop at Target (man it still hurts that they left Canada) we went to the biggest tourist attraction of all Pike Place Market. We tried blowing the perfect bubble gum bubble (way harder than it looks), rode the Miner’s Landing indoor merry-go-round took pictures a pretty pink wall, went up to this gorgeous root top bar only to leave within 15 minutes because they didn’t have a decent enough food menu, so instead (and thankfully!) ended up at this popular perogies stand at Pike Place. We then grabbed an uber home and I literally slept for 2.5 hours! Only waking up to get dressed and head out to dinner at List which had the MOST amazing fresh mozz salad. We followed that up with some strong drinks at Navy Strength, a tiki bar in the same area. AND then we went back to Toulouse Petit, for a night cap :)

The next day we had every intention to work out, but after the tiki bar/night cap situation, I figured it would be better if I took it easy and eat a few grilled cheeses. We watched a too many episodes of FRIENDS and chatted about life before heading out to do some shopping. I picked up stuff for the girls and A, some workout gear and a little something at Nordstrom Rack before we went to grab a late lunch at Bario, had a double scoop of ice cream at Molly Moons, a stroll through the rainbow crosswalks and tried a speciality roast affagato at the Starbucks Reserve & Tasting Room. We arrived for dinner around 6 at Cafe Flora, a very busy vegetarian/vegan restaurant.