I realized I have a few long lost #OOTDs from the last nine months so I figured I’d share them.
I didn’t buy much clothes this time around and with the cold weather I almost only lived in maternity pants or leggings.
There is something that has been on my mind: I think there are some women who are born with the “mom gene”. And then there are women (like me – ok I hope like me) where motherhood takes a little more time.
Even though I already have one kid (so I should know what’s coming) there are still some things I don’t remember, that were unexpected or things that were down right difficult!
Almost 7 months pregnant in this picture
I, like most people, could easily sing a sad song about it (and sometimes that is what I do) but I believe that it would be a better use of my time and energy to think about how I can turn myself around. The days are long but the years are short as they say. So I thought I would talk about what I do to make me more confident as a person and as a mom.
1. Fake it till you make it: My number one go-to when I am confused and lost about what I am suppose to doing for a particular mom task, for a certain day or life general LOL. I am a believer in just putting your head down and getting through what you are dealing with. But, if you need to take a minute to let the stress set in, than take that minute… but then move on. Put that energy, light and love into doing/attempting to do what needs to get done….if the time is there and it’s going to pass you anyway – it’s best to keep doing.
2. Take time for yourself: This is such an important idea. #SelfCare for mom’s especially is a must and priority every damn day. Whether that means taking a shower, working on your craft, going for a walk, getting your nails done etc. Take time EVERYDAY for yourself. I myself like to make sure my nails are on point, I do something creative (photograph or write) and if I am feeling really ambitious check some things of my personal to do list!
3. Spend time with your kids: Being a mom is no joke. There are diaper changes, daycare germs, dinner time, reading the same books 100 times, discipline and a million routines. All of this can really make you feel exhausted (especially on a good day). But outside of this, being a confident mom can take more shape when you spend quality time with your littles. It builds a strong bond and also allows you to learn them inside out (and not within regular mom duties). I like to be completely present when we are having dinner, reading books before bed or playing with my kiddo when she gets home from pre-school (essentially that means she has my complete attention!)
3. Let go of the #momguilt: I am GUILTY of this (pun intended). There was some things I didn’t take into consideration when baby # 2 would arrive. Like conflicting nighttime routines and nursing schedules. This literally made me feel like $h!t because I couldn’t be there for my big little when my little little needed me. That – along with some other unexpected stuff… and in sets the mom guilt. Mom guilt is all consuming so I had to let go of that real fast – for myself and for my kids.
4. Forget the audience: This time around we got to spend more time as a family and a new family of four. Which turns out to be super important, especially as you need time to figure out your new normal. Having people around will only delay your family bonding. So set boundaries and be selfish with your time. Thankfully we were more aware of our obligations and expectations (being South Asian and all) and planned accordingly.
5. Make your own decisions: Advice comes fast and furious and doesn’t stop just because your kid is applying to university programs. If you are wishy washy about decisions people will force their opinions on you. Find a “statement” (read: rebuttal) that works for you and use it. Even if your decision doesn’t work out initially you can try something else without having to let anyone know – you are doing what works best for you and your family.
Last thing I wanted to say (and maybe more so as advice to myself) is simply to OWN IT. We all make decisions and sometimes the journey is tougher than we expected. The best thing we can do is stand up and keep going. Because there is always someone watching :)